Right now.

So. I feel as though I should do an Awkward/Awesome post , but I'm really feeling kinda lazy... oh well i'll do it anyways. Just one of each though.

Awkward : Going to my doctor , getting a breast exam done , and her saying " your boobs aren't lumpy at all." well... gee. thanks ? I guess?

Awesome : knowing that there are literally 5 weeks until i'm in Good ole Utah , snuggled up next to my loverboy. This just makes life so much more bearable.

Again , Gregg doesn't have his phone on and I really miss the boy. We're both kind of over the whole separation phase of our relationship. I know, I know , "enjoy it , you'll be married soon and want to get rid of him." False. I LOVEEE Gregg. I'll never get tired of him. NOT EVER.

I guess I should go check up on my blog and see if it's working yet. I'd really like it if it was. Okay. I'm going now. LOVE YOUUU

I wish

I sincerly wish Blogger would let me creep on my own blog. I suppose if the internet worked on my computer it would let me. Alas , my computer and I are in a fight right now. A pretty serious one. I'm thinking of disowning it.

Anyways. Life is pretty insane these days. Between Gregg's love of calling me at 2am every night. ( It's secretly killing me. I know he has to work , but can he not call me like at 10 his time. or even 8 ? would it really kill him that much to not hang out with his roommates for an hour in order to talk to me before I go to bed?)

Anyways , between Gregg's schedule and my schedule i'm dying. I'm super tired alll the time. I miss the boy so I just lose sleep just so I can talk to him. I guess you do what you got to. My parents are always like why don't you go to bed earlier or don't go to sleep you'll just lose sleep tonight. Well i'm going to lose it anyways. Trust me if I could go to bed earlier I would. Since my sleep schedule got screwed up again ( I had finally gotten over my insomnia. Then I moved.) I tend to be cranky.

Like right now. Both sisters are home and being the loudest they can be and I just want to cry and yell. Instead I blog.I may or may not try and go back to sleep. Although I feel super lame for doing so. Did you know you burn more calories sleeping than watching tv ? So really , i'm exercising. Yeah. Nap.

Wedding Season

Well. I just attended my first wedding reception of " The Season" that I know of , I have 2 more coming. I mean they'll be at the end of July , but that counts. Then i'll have 2 of my own.

Besides the point. Going to the reception tonight made me miss Gregg. I can't wait till it's OUR reception i'm attending. I miss my boy and can't wait to spend Eternity with him. It will be amazing. For now I will just be content with making this the best summer ever. Hitting up the pool every day. Since Gregg doesn't like pools , this will be my last pool year. Unless I decide to go by myself. Which is lame. C'mon. I need to talk to someone while I swim. Or float rather.

hahaha...ha

So. I'm totally not looking forward to the Tuesday Dr. Appt I have. That's A WHOLE other story though.

On the plus side I slept pretty much all day? I have my makeup trial run in the morning. Applying for jobs then lunch with the bestie. Speaking of Makeup , I need new stuff. I had totally forgotten why I got so lazy with doing my hair and makeup. Then on Sunday I realized it. I'm out of foundation. I can't borrow my sisters either. Mostly because i'm PALE white and they're , well, not.

I promise on ... Saturday i'll get back on the diet. I can't help that people keep feeding me crap. Okay I guess I could make my own food. I'll do better though , I promise. I've never really had problems losing weight. When I'm trying. Guess i'm just really awesome like that.

I will probably try my dress on again sometime when the Grandma(s) are here. If it doesn't fit then , after me losing weight , I will feel like the most obese kid ever. I'm pretty sure it won't be a problem though. Anyways. I need to be up early. So i'm gonna you know... vaminos.LOVE YOUUUU

148

148 : How much I weigh after losing 2 pounds (eek)
79 : The number of days until Gregg and I get married ( again eek)
18: The date that I found out my blogger friend Sydney is preggo.

She announced it in the cutest way possible. I shall steal it one day when i'm preggo , so be on the lookout kay ? kay.

Ahhh what a great day today is ! I'm feeling great , because I can fit into my wedding dress again. I bet.I haven't tried it on okay ? Now if only I could find out whether my blogger friend at dear baby has had her little Arlo yet . That would make my week fantastic!!

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel way younger than I am. I still feel 17 most days. I still look 17. Most days. Sometimes I feel older than I am though. Like today. When I feel 25. Not that I even know what 25 feels like , but I feel that how I feel would be the way a 25 year old Afton would feel. If you were able to make any sense out of that I would like to say congrats.

Gregg has a job interview today. I'm getting married in 80 days. I feel like I should be older. Someone older than me would have more of an idea of what life is all about. Someone with more experience would know how to be a good wifey. Someone who's actually lived life. Then again , I guess nobody is ever truely prepared for marriage. Or life in general.

Some people walk in the light. I've been applying for jobs and after applying basically EVERYWHERE , I can't even get an interview , Brett has a job though, Gregg will probably get this job that he has the interview for , putting him up to 2 jobs. I however can't get anything. LAME SAUCE. Gregg said that chrysallis ( his first job) would have a job for me though in August , when I move back out. Well that doesn't help me now.

I have a wedding band that I need to buy , but can't. I can't afford it. Branbury sucks , so i'm probably going to end up having to pay them for every month that i'm not there. I guess we'll find out about that in August. Depends on if they can sell my contract or not. I'm gonna go now. I think i'll go read a book

May 16 , 2011

TODAY has been a great day. First off I woke up and weighed myself. I did this so I could compare my weight at the end of each week and see how i'm progressing in my weight loss goals. I thought I was at like 165 or 170. I left Utah weighing 155 and I was just absolutely positive I had gained 10-15 pounds since being home. FALSE. I now weigh 150. I'm the proud loser of 5 WHOLE POUNDS!!! So we'll see if I can lose anymore. At this rate I only need to lose 28 pounds to get to my goal weight. I don't necessarly have to weigh 122 by my wedding , but it would be nice to be down to at least 135 by then.

Then I opened my listening ears and guess what ?! IT WAS RAINING. Now to those of you who have never experienced a Georgia rainstorm , I promise you they are the BEST! No thunder , no lightning , just pouring rain. It's beautiful and it is always a nice break from the Georgia summers. Which are hot and sticky. I'm now sitting in bed in a hoodie , and considering putting on socks. I'm freezing. I'm not going to shut my window though , because I just get so hot. It's been worse ( my being hot all the time) since moving from Utah. I guess my body likes cold(ish) weather now.

and finally. I got the mail from the Manti Temple today. Something i've been waiting for for a month now. OH MAN ALIVE i'm stoked. I'm getting married to my best friend in 2.5 months. I'm so excited and I can't wait to be able to spend the rest of eternity with him. 81 days Gregg. 81 days. This hasn't really seemed real to me yet. Until today that is. Today I just woke up SO EXCITED. Each day closer I get more and more excited. I'm not nervous at all. Is that bad ? Mostly i'm excited.I'm not hating being engaged either anymore. Maybe it's because i've gotten past all the hard stuff and just get to do the fun stuff now. I love it though. I'm gonna go now. Peace and Love my friends!

Who Says?

I am by no means "skinny" , but I know for a fact i'm not obese. I am a little overweight. ( I've checked it out and what not) Still , for the last month an individual very close to me has been saying things that make me feel hideous. I know I'm not , but it hurts just the same. I feel bad because I feel like I should just take this as a grain of salt and not let it bother me ,and if it had only been once , or even said jokingly once I could handle it. This individual says it pretty much every day in a very serious tone. I can't take it anymore it's eating away at me. However I don't want to be upset. So I was searching for quotes on beauty on lds.org , and for inspirational videos and what not. Which leads me to this post. Selena Gomez's Who Says. SO PERFECT for me and for every girl on the planet. Take a watch. If you can think of any inspirational quotes about beauty or just uplifting , send them my way. please and thank you :)

Sorry People

So Even though I have TWO new blogs , Stupid blogger and their maintence team , managed to delete BOTH of them , so you get to listen to me rant on here for just a little bit longer. Isn't that just fabulous. So...Well ,you know. So I entered Gregg and I in a couples contest to win a free photography session. Which rocks. So ya'll go log yourselfs into facebook and vote your little hearts out :)

As Promised

Hey guys as I promised , here is the link to my new blog :) My personal blog anyways. I'll provide the link to my married blog after i'm married :) But here's my new blog. Love it. follow it. you know you want to.

http://kisses-wishes.blogspot.com/

MOVING!!

Dear Friends and Family , and soon-to-be-family. I Afton Brooke Newberry am moving blogs.

I decided it wasn't realistic for me to delete my blog , I love it too much and I fully plan on making my blog my full time journal after I get married and finish my actual journal first. ( Isn't it SO cool that they have places where you can turn blogs into books ?) BUT... I needed a change from this blog that is really just stressing me out.

My reason for changing blogs ? I realize that most of my posts on here are pretty much me venting. Nobody likes someone who vents. I want a place where people can go to be inspired. Somewhere where people can go when they're having a bad day and be uplifted. Right now my blog is far from that. Plus I think certain people are starting to think i'm psycho. So in August I will have my family blog ( big grins for starting my own 2 person mini family) and a personal blog. I will also be deleting my current facebook and creating a new one. My new facebook will be for family and CLOSE friends only.

So later today after I create my new uplifting blog I will provide the address for that and my family blog. I won't post on my family blog until after I'm married though , so don't be disappointed when there aren't any posts on that for 2 and 3/4 months.

I hope you guys will come and read my new blog and be so happy :) Here's to a year of new changes.

Letter to a friend

It was so nice to see you. Even if it was in a dream. My question is why were you in my dream ? We haven't spoken in over a year. We keep in touch just enough for me to know you're happy where you're at. We're both getting married and moving forward in our lives. Riddle me this too. In my dream I knew we couldn't be together , but it was still so good to see you. So why , when I knew we couldn't be with each other and was still perfectly happy with that , did it hurt so much when I woke up ?

It reminded me of when we used to hang out. We were both so happy and carefree. Heck we were still best friends in my dream. We never did this in real life , but we were watching a parade. Getting ready to go to some huge competition. While we never did that in real life , it was the same kind of fun. Maybe it's the way you left that hurt so much. Maybe waking up suddenly and unexpectedly from this dream hurt the same way. Reminded me how you left.

Maybe it's not you I miss , maybe it's just our friendship. What I do know is that you'll be on my mind all day. I'd rather you weren't , but we were good enough friends that I know you will be. I will say this before I close. Thanks for providing me with enough good memories to not dwell on the way you left or the things you said after you were gone. Thanks for that one last gift you gave me.

Thanks Gregg

SO. Today I called Gregg. I was like " GREGG! We're getting married in 88 days almost ! He's like yeah it's coming so soon. I was like Yeah I know I'm excited. He's like you're not freaking out thinking oh my gosh why am I marrying this guy ? I was like no. Should I be? he's like nah." Well I talked to my dad like 20 min later and was like. I'm starting to freak out dad. I'm like, I know I want to marry him , I know he wants to marry me. I'm freaking out because am I really ready ?

My father , the angel that he is , said the 2 words that I needed to hear right in that moment. He just said simply. " you're ready" I said but am I really? He then told me. Getting married is like having a kid. You're never ready. You can be more prepared for it , but you're never ready. Which is kinda funny because I was just telling my sister that the other day. I told her. " I'm pretty sure nobody prepares you enough for marriage. I'm pretty sure they try but in the end it's more like they throw you in and say 'okay figure out what works best for you'" Brett agreed.

I know I should enjoy just being engaged , but how can I enjoy this , when really all I want is to be married to my best friend already ? I miss him and I really can't wait to spend eternity with him. On a side note , i'm considering deleting my blog. I don't know that anybody really reads it , and let's be honest. It's not like i'm that interesting anyways. Opinions ?

89 days and Mamma's day

oh HI !! did you know that on today , May 8th it's mothers day ? Did you also know it's 89 days till Gregg and I are married? I knew that !! Then again I am keeping count. I would just like to take this time to give my mommy a little shout out.

My mamma is the best one ever. She's always been here for me and I really appreciate that. I probably don't tell her enough though. She's been amazing to me my whole life.I honestly dont know what I would do without her. Especially now that i'm getting married. She's been such a great help. Making sure everything gets done. I love my mom. i'm going to quote a post secret. "I'm not afraid of becoming my mother. I'm afraid of not becoming half of who she is." It really hit home because I always thought I was terrified of having kids. That made me realize that i'm not afraid to become a mother, I'm just afraid that I won't be as good of a mother to my children as my mom is to me.
Love you mom.

I'd also like to give a little shout out to Gregg's mom. I really want to thank her for raising such a great guy. He's a wonderful person as well as all of her other children. She's a wonderful mother and I know her kids love her. Especially Gregg. It makes me happy to become his wife when I hear how highly he speaks of his mother. They always say you can tell how Good a guy will treat you by the way he treats his mom. Gregg has always spoken so kindly and he's a different (in a good way) person around his mother. He's softer. I love seeing that side of him and I love watching them interact. So I guess what i'm trying to say is thank you. Thanks for making Gregg the man he is today :)

Anyways. I'm off to flirt with my future hubby :) G'night to all !

It's pathetic really

I find it so sad that people I went to college with don't have enough interesting things going on in their life , that they seem to have this need to try and make my life a living Heck.

Seriously people "we" broke up over 2 years ago. Drop it. I'm finally happy and engaged to a man I love. You guys just can't let me have that though can you? Stooping so low as to email my fiancee and tell him that I tried to get PREGNANT with my ex ? seriously ? If you're going to send messages like that , at least make sure your information is correct.

I never tried to get pregnant from any of my boyfriends much less that one. Saying that I tried to keep him off his mission ? Uh no. I pushed him to go. When he was debating NOT going I told him to go , but that it was his decision. Yes I did want to break up with him while he was on his mission , but if you MUST butt in , it was because I got a blessing and prayed , and knew that it wasn't right. So I dumped him. MUTUALLY. He had been praying about it too and got the same answer.

Then sending hate mail because he didn't want me back AFTER his mission ? Uh I was with Gregg. I met up with him ONCE after his mission for 2 minutes. When I knew for SURE that breaking up with him was good for me. I didn't love him , still don't, never will. HE tried meeting up with ME several more times and I said no. I didn't want to lead him on. Ask any of my roommates.They were there.

It's very sad that you guys lead such pathetic lives that twisting my past life into a bunch of lies and trying to break me and my fiancee up is the only way you can entertain yourself. Get a hobby. A productive one. Not a destructive one. Good thing I have a VERY open relationship with Gregg and have told him everything about my past BEFORE you guys tried to screw things up. Try it sometime with your own special someone. If you have one with your crummy personality.

Learning.

So my friend Liz asked me what tips i'd give her if she got engaged. Gregg and I laughed and I said well , I've only been engaged for a month and a half , but I've learned a few things. So here is my current list of what i've learned.

1)If you insist on going to more than one location for pictures go to no more than 3 locations. I did 5 in 3 days and it was way too much. We got all the pictures we needed in the first 2 days and even then it was too many locations. I'd say narrow it down to 3 locations that you KNOW you'll get good pictures at. If you can get all those locations knocked out in one day more power to you. Plus by day 3 FH and you will BOTH be way tired and borderline moody. If you're me you might even cry.

2)Things are going to change and plans are going to fall through. Prepare yourself for this early on and you'll be good to have a happier, less stressful planning process. I promise.

3) Unless your parents really are as rich as you think they are,(9 times out of 10 they aren't ) be ready to not get every little thing you wanted since you were 3. I can also promise you that once you figure out they aren't as rich as you thought comes the moment where you realize maybe you didn't want everything you thought you wanted since you were 3 anyways. So your parents not being billionaires doesn't even matter really.

4) Photographers are OVERRATED. I promise. Surely you have a friend who is pretty good at taking pictures. Or a family member. If you don't I guarantee you have a friend who does know someone. Get them to take your pictures and use picnik or photoshop. You'll get just as good pictures for free. I learned this through necessity , but it's GREAT for a budget bride.

5) Just listen to your mom. She's done this before and knows what she's doing. Just trust her opinion. She knows how to make things look beautiful and knows how to do this and have it cost about half as much as your plan would. I promise it will make the world of difference. Plus if you let her worry about it , it leaves more time for you and FH to just enjoy being together. Or not. If you're me.

Bummer Cont.

So Gregg is gone :( His absence from my household is very tangible. It's like the house actually feels empty without him. I cried a little bit . Walking back to meet my mom from the airport I had to get a grip on myself by saying " Afton you're a big girl. Get a hold of yourself. 7 more weeks and you'll see him again. 3 weeks after you leave him... okay 4, you'll be married to him. These next 12 weeks and 2 days are going to DRAG ON.

The good news is we're almost done with our checklist of stuff we need to get done. Well almost. I still have to get him a ring ( with no money to speak of ) and a few other things. Like address invitations and send them out. That won't get done until the end of June though so we're okay. This month we're going to make the bouquets and boutonnieres done. So we're almost done , but not quite. It's coming together though and that's fun to see. Well I think I'm going to go now.

All in all I miss my love and can't wait to see him in a few weeks and get some more stuff done. ALSO I can't wait to marry him in 12 weeks. or 3 months. I like 12 weeks better though.

Bummer

What a bummer. Gregg has to go home today. Which means the countdown to July must begin. The countdown to the first week when I get to go out and Apartment hunt/ Get the marriage license shall commence. Gregg is coming now so i'm gonna go :)

Love is Sweet

SO... Gregg is here. I know I said I'd write on Sunday , but this Sunday is going to be kinda crazy for me. We've got day one of our 3 day 5 location engagement session is knocked out. It was a good day and we gots LOTS of great pictures. I was going to try and save some to my computer to give ya'll a little sneak peak , but as it turns out , It's not going to happen like that. So if you really must , just log yourself onto facebook... if possible , and check them out. Tomorrow ( today) we're going to Savannah and Tybee Island , and Sunday we're going to Stone Mountain. Looking forward to some more great pictures.

I hope you guys are having a fantastic week. I'm loving my week with Gregg and enjoying spending as much time as I can get with him. I really don't want him to leave. Today I took him to waffle house on a date. He actually thought it was pretty good. I didn't get any pictures which really makes me sad , but i'm going to try and get as many pictures as I can. I'll probably try and burn him a disc of all the engagements too. Since he surprisingly wants some. Yes. I am shocked. Anyways i'm tired AND i have to be up in like 6 hours. well 5 if I want a shower. I'm gonna go though. Love you guys!

Crafty

I'm feeling extremely crafty today and have NO projects whatsoever. I really need one. I thought rearranging the furniture in my room might take care of that ache for creativity but nope. Room is reorganized , to my liking I might add , and that urge to do something crafty is still there.

I want something that is crafty , cheap , and will be useful , or at least decorative , in my future home with Gregg-a-boo. OH I LIKE THAT ONE !! Anyways , this need for creativity is killing me today. It's a beautiful day and I feel like I need a little project I can sit in my room , and work away at. Currently my latest craving is to re-cover an antique-ish chair or repaint and re-do an antique-y piece of furniture. I'm sooo into antiques lately. Vintage is my love right now.yes.

Anyways in less than 24 hours Gregg will be over at my house cuddling me. Which is his first honey-do item of the week. Aren't I so nice when I make my honey-do lists ? lol.

Happy Easter.

Guess I didn't have to do as much "catching up " as I thought I did. So here's what's gone on.

Saturday: I wake up. ( at almost noon. terrible) After that My family had a fire in our backyard. A big fire. We found a turtle , and spent pretty much all day outside. okay only 5 hours of my awake day.. Mom made foil dinners that we cooked on the fire. So pretty much I just spent the day hanging around outside , watching our backyard fire and playing with a turtle.

Sunday : HAPPY EASTER. That's today folks. I had a FANTASTIC day at church. Not even kidding. It was seriously probably the best church meeting I've been to. It was our fast Sunday , so I got to listen to A LOT of great testimonies. Then we had Sunday School. I really think my Sunday school class is fantastic. I get lots of different insights that I probably wouldn't have gotten on my own. Relief Society was okay. To be honest by that point I was super done with churching , but had to stay after. So I had to suck it up.

After church I had a meeting with the bishop to get some things for my wedding taken care of , then I hung out and talked to Thomas until the Felsted's dad was able to come and pick all of us up and take me home. I'm super thankful for that. I didn't want to spend all day at church.

That's pretty much how my Easter went. I hope ya'lls were just grand !!

The world is Excited.

So I called up the Manti Temple. We had a little chat that temple and me. Guess what ? The temple is PRETTY excited that Gregg and I will be spending 2 days with it. I kid you not. So I sent a hug it's way and hung up.

Want to know how the story really went ? I called the Manti Temple. They were closed for cleaning , but I talked to two very nice ladies who I promise seemed VERY excited that I was getting married there. They let me pick what room I wanted , they let me pick the time, They even let me pick how I wanted everyone dressed. Then they told me they'd be sending me a letter full of instructions. One of the nice ladies even told me she liked the way I wanted to do things. I hope I get to see her in person :) I think I will give everyone there a great big hug. I might even hug the temple. ( Is that allowed , because I really think it deserves one)

Anyways. That is my way exciting update :) Oh and also I wish Gregg would remember to take his charger to work sometimes so he can talk to me :)

Midweek Crisis.

Okay so it's not really a crisis , but all I want to do is cry today. Nothing bad has even happened today. I just have this really huge need to cry. I don't want to cry ( and haven't cried yet ) because there is no reason for me to cry. So why bother. Plus Gregg says I cry a lot. Which is only mostly true , but not because I'm mad or anything. Mostly because i'm either A)Exhausted. B)Extremely happy and grateful or C)just super emotional and cry for no reason.

Today I want to cry because i'm so tired and I know I shouldn't take a nap. Last night was rough. You see when I was oh.. 16 or 17 I started getting what after lots of blood work doctors diagnosed as anxiety attacks. Meaning my body ( in my case ) flips out because it thinks i'm running out of oxygen and dying. So I start to hyperventilate and eventually , unless I get it under control , pass out.

Over the last few years i've managed to control it to the point that it really doesn't effect my sleep to the extremes. Last night however it was BAD. For the first time in years I seriously could NOT breathe. Every single time I came even close to falling asleep i'd stop breathing and shoot up gasping for air. So until about 5:30 in the morning I was awake trying to breathe and desperately praying that I wouldn't die.

Finally at 5:30 I figured the open window that was more than likely filling my room with unseen pollen and dust wasn't helping so I shut the window. Since the air conditioning wasn't turned on I kicked off my comforter and grabbed a thin sheet to lay under. I filled up my water bottle and turned on Brother Bear. Finally about 6am I was able to fall asleep. That's the majority of the reason I just want to cry. Other reasons include the fact that I miss Gregg SO MUCH.

That's all I wanted to write I guess. I'm going to try and take a nap. I don't even care if anyone thinks it's not a good idea including me. I'm exhausted and aggrivated with my body. So I think i'm just going to nap.

I told you...

I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!! I wish I could make this a billion times bigger because I'M GETTING MARRIED !! in 108 days , but that's beside the point because I'M GETTING MARRIED.

I've been doing my happy dance for the last 2 days straight. I've just had a REALLY good week so far. It's only Tuesday ! I think it's finally sinking in though. I'M THE HAPPIEST GIRL ON THE PLANET. no joke. So my happy dance continues. Sometimes I think I can't breathe because i'm so excited.

I'm SO EXCITED to be Gregg's wifey. I'm so glad I'm the one he wants to be with forever. I'm pretty sure I took the last good guy on the planet. I'd say sorry to all you other ladies , but i'm not sorry.

So picture if you can , me in my bedroom , late at night , running around and doing my happy dance. Which most of you have never even seen. Ask me about it sometime. It's pretty epic.

Plus I told you I stink at diets.

Excitement

All day long ( In between my bouts of " oh i'm going to throw up") all I could think about is how excited I am to marry my best friend. I'm just so excited!! We're down to 110 days , or 14 weeks give or take. 3.5 months. It literally is all I can think about. I'm sure everyone just wants to throw up ,I kind of make myself nauseous sometimes , but I just don't mind.

Gregg was supposed to call and sing me my song tonight , he hasn't yet , but i'm sure he will. There is this part where he says " I know it won't be easy , I know it will be hard..." That's what we both know. We know it's going to be hard. I think we both know that it's going to be very worth it. Isn't it funny how there are some things in life you know are going to be hard , but you want to do them anyways ,because what you get in return is so worth the effort ?

All I can say is i'm beyond excited to marry Gregg. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me.So thanks to everyone for listening to me talk about Gregg. Again. I hope you guys have the most fabulous week , and i'll talk to you next Sunday!!

Strange

I wanted to make a quick note about this. Then I'll be done. I promise. Hopefully.

I had this BEST FRIEND all through high school. We met in science class freshman year and were immediately inseparable. Okay so we graduate. For a year after graduation we still hung out and were still talking and best friends the year after. So let's to the math. We were friends for 4 yrs of high school, 1 year after wards , and we still talked the year after that. ( I was in utah , she was in GA) 4+1+1 = 6 years. Overnight This girl , this best friend , decides to never talk to me again. I can't for the life of me figure it out. It kills me , because I REALLY want to still be her friend. I just don't understand.

This little factoid led me to think about this. Have you guys ever had that one person that you were just super jealous of . To the extent that you always being jealous of them starts to annoy your boyfriend. Or other friend ? anyone in general. You're so jealous of this person , that you compare yourself to them and are just SO sure that you guys could never truly get along because you'd always compare yourself to them? All of the sudden this person turns out to be one of your favorite person and you think to yourself. Wow. We actually get along pretty well.

Well i'll start out with this little fridge quote that my mom has. " Don't compare yourself to others. You don't know what direction their life is taking them." Now Gregg said something kind of like this to me when we were first dating about my person like this.

I don't know if this person feels like we get along really well or even considers me one of her best friends, and that's completely okay. really. But it was that way with me. I really didn't ever expect to have this... friendship if that's the word with her, because there would be something every day that I was just SO jealous of .It was like a competition. It was stupid and immature because I missed out on ...okay probably not much, but it's something that if Gregg hadn't have given me a little reality check , i could've missed out on big time.

I know I've really only been "planning" this wedding for 3 weeks, and by planning i mean giving the yea or nay to my moms ideas. or working compromises , or trying to get the ideas for engagement pics and stuff like that. I'm already stressed to the max. My mantra almost every single minute of the day is " I'm marrying Gregg. No one else has to like it. You're marrying Gregg. You're own wedding. Don't be jealous that other people are getting married first , or are getting engaged and more people are telling them congrats than you. "

It's really been something that's stressing me out. I need to just have that quote everywhere. " Don't compare yourself to others. You don't know what direction their life is taking them " Why waste time and energy being jealous ? I've got my prince charming. I'm MARRYING my prince charming. I shouldn't care if the whole world didn't like it. We're in love. We both couldn't imagine a future without each other , because as Gregg put it : " a future without you , wouldn't be a future at all." We're cheezy I know.

Okay so if you made it through this whole post without falling asleep or throwing up , You win a pat on the back. Also comment and one day i'll make you cookies. Or something. Just for future knowledge i'm seriously going to try and go on a blogging diet. starting this Sunday you will hear from me once a week. On Sundays. Just.. go easy on me. I've never been good at diets.

Not the only one

Surely i'm not the only one on the planet who remembers funny things that their father did from their childhood.

For instance , there were several family home evenings that consisted of my father walking around the house pointing out what we needed to pick up . That was our lesson. Almost every time. No joke.

Also there was the time My parents decided we needed to work out together so My dad got p90 and popped it in and we all sat in the living room working out. So funny.

the end

What does your birth sign say about your wedding style

SIGN: LEO
Your Strengths:
You’re generous, dramatic, and a natural leader.

What to Watch out For:
Your tastes are expensive, so you naturally gravitate to the most pricey vendors and details and don’t like to compromise.

What You’ll Love:
Being treated like royalty on the big day. As long as all eyes are on you, you’ll be the happiest bride in the world.

What You’ll Hate:
Sticking to your budget. If you can’t have exactly what you want, and just how you envision it, you’ll unleash your inner bridezilla -- pronto!

HAHAHA just ask my MO. She'll tell you every last bit of this is absolutely true. and we're only a month into the planning. If that.

Life Lesson # 1

Don't Trust ANYBODY - Chances are that 90% of the time you'll end up getting screwed over BIG time. I would know. I just spent roughly 2 hours on the phone ( parents did too) trying to get a huge debt taken care of. All because some T-Mobile employee screwed me over , over a year ago , and the Orem Police didn't fax in a police report because of Identity Theft. All of this because I trusted not only T-Mobile employees to not screw me over ( mistake number 1 ) but also because I trusted the Government to do something right for a change because they're the police and they're supposed to help out.

As a result i'm still having to get something taken care of a year later. Lesson learned.

Of COURSE

Of course the one day where I literally feel like nothing else could possibly make the day feel any more horrible , is the same day that I follow my diet. To a T. I just now remembered how horrible the first few days of starting this diet were.

Did I tell you how somehow over 3 days I managed to get too fat for my wedding dress? If I didn't tell you , yeah that happened. Buy my dress Thursday. Go to the beach and not really change my diet drastically, BAM 3 days later on Monday the dress no longer fits. Tell me how that works. TELL ME!!

Then today my computer decided to act up. The mouse pad thing on my laptop is like hey Afton. I hate you and your life isn't giving you enough trouble as it is , so here. I'm just going to stop working. Thanks laptop , you're very lucky I didn't throw you out my 2nd story window.

The solution ? I go back to bed around 3pm. I decided it was time to start my day over again. Have you guys ever had those days where honestly you just needed to crawl back in bed , take a nap , and wake up with a brand new start to your day ? BINGO that was today for me. Except for my day still didn't want to work with me. So I cried and threw a few punches at my computer. Don't worry. It's still perfectly fine and actually working now.

I wouldn't beat anyone up physically , but my laptop needed a good beating. I didn't even hit it very hard, I did however begin to pick it up to throw it. I didn't though. I was like. That's irrational. So I set it down and proceeded to scream at it. I told it I hated it. Which at the moment I really did. The end.

Lonely but a winner.

Should I start out with lonely or winner ? Lonely? I agree

I'm lonely. I miss Gregg so much more than I ever anticipated missing him. I knew i'd miss him A LOT I just didn't realize exactly how much a lot was. It's like a little twinge of pain every time I call him or skype with him. Then it's another one when I can't talk to him as long as i'd like. It's just crazy and I miss him. SO MUCH.

Winner. I finally won something for the first time in my life. I my friends am Chick fil a's fan of the day. or week. or something. Either way I won a free spicy Chicken Sandwhich. Win , of all accounts. FO SHO. Now i'm hungry. And smelly , and need to shower to prep for a job interview that I don't even want, but definitely need. BOO.

Exhausted.

So I probably don't even know the real meaning of the word according to parents all over the world , but I promise, for this stage in my life that's the best term a girl could come up with for how she feels. I also realize that the punctuation in that sentence stunk up a storm. Anyways. I'm tired. My eyes ( and everyone else in the ward I feel like ) were glazed over to the max. I'm pretty sure about half the ward slept through sacrament meeting.

Thanks for that spring break. You rock. So in Relief society KP looks at me and goes "Afton , do you know where you are ?" And if the glazed over look in my eyes didn't answer her question my "huh?" in response definitely did. (quick tangent; can I say how much I admire my sister Colby?) Anyways. That's how church went.

Guess what ? I'm missing my " Big Brothers" Georgia wedding reception because i'm getting married the day of his reception. I told his mommy I would try to make it to the one in Utah though. Which could actually be VERY beneficial. So I might end up doing that then staying out in Utah for a week until my wedding. Coming up with 60 dollars should be fun.

Also..I forgot what I was originally going to blog about. Oh yes. I'm tired. Which i've already stated.Good news ? I'm babysitting 4 of the cutest , but craziest kids in my Family ward. Looking forward to that and hanging out with Elizabeth Felsted around 2ish. We're going to heart attack someones car. Someone I don't particularly care for , but Liz does. So i'm being a good friend and doing it because i'm nice and have nothing better to do . Besides i've wanted to hang out with this girl all week.

The End

Exit 69

So as most of you know , I went to the beach this weekend. As some of you may probably remember. If I go to a beach , I come back the color of a strawberry or firetruck. Normally. Today this did not happen. I put sunscreen on and the only place that came back to Georgia those colors , were my ankles. How this happened I have no clue. I wish I could show you the picture of my angry sunburn. It looks like a very mad face. A mix between Lord Voldemort and Darth Vader if you can imagine that. I took a picture , but haven't uploaded it to my computer yet. Sorry friends.

the rest of me is a light pink and i've acquired even more freckles. I'm pretty sure Gregg will LOVE that. He loves my freckles. I have no clue why though. The beach was amazing though. You got to drive up right onto the sand and chill out there. There were AMAZING waves and My cousins and I had a blast body surfing on them. We're all kinda wave people. We also hit up the cheesecake factory last night and that was pretty cool. I guess.

We ran into a lacrosse team this morning at breakfast and my sister and youngest cousin in the group went insane. Which is rather funny. I spent Friday evening with a swollen eye. Tylenol seemed to help though so that was good. I collected some shells for Gregg ,which i'm sure he could care less about having , but I really wanted a reason to pick up shells. Anyways i'm talking to Gregg so i'll talk to you latah!

Dear Gregg

Dear Gregg ,

I love you more than I could possibly even try to describe. You're my whole life. I know I tell you this all the time , but I knew we'd be married even before we started dating. Let me tell you something. It's been worth the wait. Waiting on you to realize the same thing that is. I see so much potential in you. I see so much of who i'd like to become. You're dedicated and kind. You forgive easily. Especially when you forgive me. Sometimes when I don't deserve it. You have such passion for the things you love and for the people you love. I'm glad I can number myself among them.

I love the song you wrote me.I love the way you laugh. I try to be funny just so I can hear it. I wish I could make you laugh all day everyday. I love how kind and giving you are. I love when you cook breakfast. You rock at breakfast. I love your arms , I love your shoulders.I love the way your eyes light up when you smile. I love how when we get lost you don't freak out. You consider it an adventure. I love when you kiss me on the forehead. I love how when I'm crying on skype you tell me to not cry then "wipe away my tears" to make it all better.I loved your song about being a willow tree.

I love how hard you work to make sure we'll have a good life together. I love how you've never judged me. I love the way you stick up for me. I love that when we're playing Nazi Zombies and I die , you'll come back and save me, even if it means you have to die. on level 3 . I even (sometimes) love it when we fight ,because I know an hour later we'll both apologize , kiss , and make up. Most of all I love you. I love you because of who you are.You don't try to be something you're not. I love how you're weird , and I'm weird , but we make it work , and in turn it makes us stronger.

I love how you've never followed the crowd. I love how you'll go out of your way to make sure i'm happy. Most of all of these , I love that you love me.

Wedding Gown

Oh girls. ( and the 2 boys that I know read this ) I've got the dress. Mo and I went shopping today. Well we went browsing. We didn't think we'd get so lucky. We did though. The first dress I tried on I fell in love with. That's not the dress we bought though. I tried on some other dresses and as you would have it dress number 5 screamed PICK ME ! PLEASEEE PICK ME!! So what did I do ? I said okay ! I love you even more than I ever loved dress number 1.

Dress number 5 combined the Glitz of dress number one , and the side rouching of dress number 2. It's like the first two dresses got together one night after closing , and had a baby. Dress number 5. It came of the hanger and said "Afton , i'm going to hug you in all the right places. So you look pretty , and thin , but still look super stylish." I thought back to the dress. "We'll see."

And hug me and make me look good it did. I looked in the mirror and thought to dress #5 "touche." Dress 5 just smirked back at me. ( Yes, I have conversations with my dresses. Well just that one really.) So alas Mo and the owner of the store and I fell in love with a gown that was obviously made for me. Then I said "dress number 5 you are coming home with me. We'll have sleepovers in my room and I will stare longingly at you until we can play dress up again."

That my friends is the story of the dress. P.S. we showed it to dad and he cried just a little bit.

Firsts.

For the first time Ever today , I got to color on the floor. With a crayon. So Colby and I had a blast and colored on the floor.

Also for the first time ever , for those who don't care and want personal info, I put my bra on inside out.

I know. HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT?! I don't know friends , but I somehow managed to do it. Also it's strangely more comfortable , so i'm not switching it back. Ok I lied. I probably will switch it back. But it is comfortable. It's funny too. Honest. Anyways. My sister broke her toe. Fabulous!!! Anyways I'm gonna go. Whatever. Love ya'll !

Last Night

...I realized that I had 4 months EXACTLY till I marry my best friend. HOW COOL !
...I realized that I will be relaxing on the beach in 2 days. Yes. The Beach. Jealous ?
...I realized that I'm dress shopping on Thursday. Which is tomorrow as most of you know.
...I realized maybe I should make a list of dresses I want to try on. Did it.
...I realized my ring is getting ordered on Monday. As in the 11th. I think. Maybe 10th.
...I realized I missed my bed at the Branbury. As crappy as it was.
...I realized that for the first time in 3 weeks. I was COLD.
...I realized that this girl really needs some cereal. To crave it for 3 weeks and not eat any is killing me.

Guess what ?!

The date got changed BACK to the 5th of August. I know. Indecisive much ? You see where I get it from , my mother. That's a totally different story.

I look wonderfully cute today and just had to tell SOMEBODY. So , I got on to update everyone on the great news. Oh , and we're going dress shopping on Thursday , so be excited for me !

AND i'm off to eat more cafe rio pork. I'm addicted. that's why.

How old am I ?

Hi I'm Afton. I'm 22 years old and I SILL run to my parents bedroom when a storm gets super scary. Really? I think it's mostly because i'm scared , and I expect them to be scared because c'mon , it's scary!! They aren't. Which only freaks me out more, because again , it's scary! They should be scared.

I went back to my room and felt a little pathetic. To be honest I still do. It is nice to know however that even though I am 22 , when I go running to their room because i'm scared they'll still say " You can sleep on the floor."

I have great parents.

For the Bridesmaids

Okay this is choice A ( I'm linking them up gal's or trying to at least.) Choice B. and Choice C. Now I'd like for everyone to keep in mind that there will be a green sash going around the waist. 2 of the dresses already have belts , so we'd just exchange those for green sashes. So just let me know and once everyone has had a say i'll let you know which one got picked and I'll probably put you guys in charge of getting your own since you know your sizes. Or we can work something else out. Thanks ladies !!! Oh and ps. The date got changed to the 6th. Hope that doesn't ruin anyone's plans. We're trying to adjust to everyones schedules. 124 Days!

124

Haha I told Gregg the other day i'd be so excited when we hit the double digits instead of triple. Guess what? 25 days and that will be a reality. Can I just count in weeks ? that would be double digits. 16. If i'm doing my math right. Which i'm probably not. Anywho. Not why i'm blogging. Again.

I blog because i'm addicted. Literally. ADDICTED. I'm not so sure why i'm addicted to blogging , but I am. As a result you guys get a LOT of pointless posts. Sorry about that. Not really though. You don't have to read them. I promise I'm getting to my point.

I don't feel good. A little nauseous really. That might be because I had a LOT of sugar today. Between the Ice Cream , Dr. Pepper, eating the test run of the reception pies, Cafe Rio Pork Barbacoa , and more Dr. Pepper , i'm pretty sure i've eaten a candy store supply of sugar. Again , i'm getting away from why I originally logged on to blog.

I came on to blog about how I need a job. Bad. I don't understand why I haven't been hired yet. I'm a GOOD employee. I know the economy stinks , but does it really stink so bad that I can apply to practically every store in Fayetteville and not even get a call for an interview ??? Surely not . So if everyone who reads this wouldn't mind sending up a little prayer that I get a job i'd appreciate it a lot.

I need the money to pay off bills and put back money so I can be a good wifey. Tomorrow i'm applying for Chick Fil A so hope that I can at least get that. I think i'm ready for some more "Cafe Rio" Love you guys!

General Conf.

I have such fond memories of General Conference. When I was little we'd go over to the Jennings and have one big conference party. I'd fall asleep through most of it , but listen to the prophets talk. Then as a teenager , I could make it through more , but we'd still go over to the Jennings , and their son would always pause it on the choir when people had the most funny faces. It always took us an additional hour longer than the adults to finish. We had fun though. Now as an "adult" I still enjoy conference. Chilling on the couch in my PJ's watching conference. I still fall asleep , but Instead of during the second session of both days , I can make it through 3 sessions. My goal is to make it through all 4. Such good memories.

I also remember one specific youth conference. I'm almost positive I spent it with Angelica and I can't remember the other girl. Perhaps it was Auri. I don't know , but they taught me how to spit Ice cubes really far. I had so much fun. So we sat there just spitting ice. Cracks me up. I'm not sure what made me remember that though.

I think my blog gets me in more trouble than anything else. I'm pretty sure people hate me a little bit because of it. At least i'm pretty sure they think i'm an insane little brat. I don't think I am. I think i'm a pretty cool girl. Although the fact that i'm defending myself probably makes me sound a little bit like a loser. I don't know why i'm trying to defend myself. Why should I care whether people like me or not ?

Heart Burn...

Okay so this is really a story about me and tums. You know, the antacid? Ready for it ? Okay.

When I was a kid I used to throw up. A LOT. When i'd throw up and still feel nauseous , my mom would give me a TUMS. Usually they help peoples stomachs settle down. Not mine. I would just start throwing up again. So when I was little we had to find other ways to make me feel better because you had better believe if I ate a TUMS , I was just going to throw it back up .5 seconds later.

Where am I going with this ? Oddly enough I finally found a color of Tums that I can keep down. The pink ones. Plus I don't throw up nearly as much anymore. So whenever i'm feeling queasy or have heartburn / acid reflux ( which is why this is getting posted) I eat the pink ones and feel lots better. I'm glad the throwing up was just a stage that I was able to grow out of.

125 days

reason number ...why not 125 ? why i'm madly in love with Gregg. He calms me down. He tells me i'm not crazy , and frankly , he can talk me out of just about anything. If Breathing was crazy , He could talk me out of it. Today he talked me out of my "crazy" plan to make our wedding day just another day.

I told him this " I feel the same way about our wedding day as I did about my 16th birthday. Like it's just another day. If it's just going to feel like another day, why not just make it another day?" He says." It's not just another day. You deserve to feel like a princess , and I can see why you're upset. " he also told me it's going to be one of the best days ever. I believe him.

He makes me remember what's important. He grounds me. ( that makes sense right ?) So after getting me calmed down and talking me back into a reception ( even if he's only talking me into it for the presents ) we planned our Man vs. Food road trip honeymoon. We also planned our engagement pictures. We tried to figure out how on earth we were going to get furniture. We tried to figure out how to get my ring from UT to GA without him losing it.

He spent the evening telling me how much he loves me and distracting me from the fact that I don't get my $450 dollar professional photographer ( that's right folks , I kept doing research and found a even cheaper , and still high quality photographer.Because i'm awesome like that ) We talked about temples and scriptures. We talked about wii and working out. We talked about awkward people.

People , don't ever let me forget how in love I am or how lucky I am.

Let it be known

This girl quits. I am no longer on the hunt for a wedding dress. Yes i'm still getting married , but without all the hassle. No dress , no reception , no cake , no food , no pictures. Totally free. I'm so done. It's too much of a stress and too much of a big deal ,and not worth it. I'm done. My heart is breaking and yet cold as stone all at once. Does that even make any sense ? Maybe not. I want a wedding my way. Since i'm not getting that I'm having low key. A go-to-the-temple- get-married-get-out-go home with my hubby wedding. That's what it should be all about right ? right? Right. okay I just wanted it to go on record.

I mean seriously . All I wanted was my fairytale wedding. I accepted the dress budget. I'm even cool with having a thrift store wedding reception. I'm letting my mom take the engagement pictures, the reception pictures , the bridals if she wanted... is it seriously too much to ask ,after doing LOTS of research of photographers i might add, for her to spend 600 dollars on the cheapest, good quality ,professional photographer for the actual wedding ?

I didn't think so , but apparently it is. This is the ONLY thing i've been adamant about. I can compromise and even care less about what goes on otherwise. For all I care we can order food of the dollar menu somewhere for the reception food. or order a lot of pizzas. we could have no food. I don't care. The professional wedding pictures is all i care about. I won't budge.

So it may be seriously crazy for me to be flipping out about this , but I feel like i've been reasonable about everything else. So I feel like i'm not really being that big of a bridezilla. I feel like I should get my ONE princess thing. I really don't feel like i'm asking too much.

good morning beautiful

I literally don't think my hair's been this crazy since I was a youngin'

Do you think Gregg will still want to marry me after he see's this picture ? Haha I bet he will. He'd even tell me I looked beautiful. He's crazy , but this picture made me laugh this morning as I got out of bed to brush my hair.So I figured i'd share the laugh. I'm off to go make some apple cider and wait for dad to come home so I can have some cfa!!

stress

Maybe i'm overreacting just a little bit , but surely i'm not the only one. So here's the thing. I was going to have a girl from my church do our wedding photos. Turns out she's going to be moving and can't take our pictures. So i'm flipping out. Just a lot. I feel like it's wayyy too early in the planning to already hit a bump.

MO says she'll take the pictures , but I kind of really wanted professional pics. I don't mind the engagements being home done. Here's the thing though. I've been looking online at the photographers in that area. My mom can do way better than all of them. So i'm thinking maybe ? I just don't want to give up on it too quick. So i'm freaking out. If I do even manage to find one I like and that's cheap enough , will they be available on that short of notice ? grr.

Then engagement pictures. Nothing's going wrong. Yet. except for Gregg wants to come the week after Easter. My mom said the 8&9th and the 22nd are the best dates for him to come down so we can get our awesome engagements done. Well as you know the week after Easter include none of those dates. So what then ? I also don't know whether I should go ahead and book the temple date and stuff or if I should just wait till I have the ring ? and if I wait will the date even be available still ? will it be available now ?

GAHHHHH i'm stressing out again. That's bad. REAL bad. boo.

Uhm hi. Are these dresses totally adorable or what ? and all under 50 dollars. super cute. How about that little suit ... I wonder how long those actually stay on a little guy.

127

Would you guys hate me so much if I made the title of my posts how many days I have left before I become Mrs. B? ( I'm feeling especially lazy today can you tell? )You wouldn't? oh good,because i'm going to do it anyways. HA.

Today I want to post a little something special. I guess I could technically post this on our 1yr dating anniversary , but I figure i'm so thankful for Gregg , that this shouldn't wait. Not that he'll read it. I'm pretty sure he hates the fact that I blog. Maybe if he actually read it he'd love it a little more.

Anyways. What I wanted to say is how thankful I am to be dating a man who sacrifices so much for our relationship. Over the last 2 weeks he's lost sleep, driven to and from Salt Lake three times (at least ) and worked several hours of overtime at work (28 to be exact ) just so I could move back home. Except for the overtime. That's so we can afford to do this thing called get married.

I'm so thankful to know that i'm going to marry a man who is so dedicated to taking care of me. It makes me more and more confident each day that i'm marrying the right guy. I should thank his parents for raising such a great kid. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him!! Maybe one day i'll actually deserve him .

Gregg

HAHA my room is kind of turning into a little Gregg shrine. It has made me giggle twice today already. I regret nothing. I love walking into my room and see the many faces Gregg pulls , all over my walls. I'm less lonely , and a lot happier.

I was cleaning up my room ( only to have a mess on the floor again) and found my craft bucket. Sure it only had the baby blanket i'm crocheting and a very incomplete latch hook thing from high school in it. come to think of it they're both from high school... and both are very incomplete. oh well. gives me more projects ! I'll probably never finish the latch hook either. I kind of really hate it now.

MO bought the rest of the jars for the candy table. Her personal project baby. You know what i'm talking about. Like when guys get that car , and the project of rebuilding it becomes their "baby" ? My wedding reception is her "baby" I'm lucky enough to get to help bring this "baby" into the world. okay now i'm feeling a little sentimental. I'm so sappy these days. Just about anything cute will make me cry. I kid you not.

She also got a chandelier for the pies. Fajah and I spent a good half hour taking it apart , taking the wires out , and putting it back together. Next up ? Getting it cleaned up and painted. I'm very excited about that !! Anyways. I'm done. I think.

This Week

This week , what's left of it anyways we're going to try and get me back on schedule.Starting tonight. As in Wednesday. My self proclaimed to-do list is growing though. My mom told me which tasks for the wedding need to start getting taken care of. I also need to help Gregg out and print off the ring size chart and tell him what size ring to get so he can get that taken care of. My other tasks include finishing my laundry , cleaning my room and the bathroom , and exercising. I also need to get back on my diet. So this week has gotten kind of busy , and i'm not even really doing anything.

In other news keep my Grandpa in your prayers. They found some more cancer in his neck and liver. They want to take out the cancer in his neck first and they'll probably leave the cancer in his liver because they think it'll go away on it's own. Keep him in your prayers though :)

I'm off to try and fight insomnia. Maybe I should see a doctor ??

Friends

Dear Blog reading friends,

As I write this I should be getting ready. Or at least finishing that. Instead i'm writing to you about jeggings. That's right. Jean-Leggings. I was a skeptic at first. After trying them on I NEED a pair. SO BAD. If you're the kind of girl (or boy if you're into that kinda thing) who skinny jeans just don't flatter , I highly suggest trying a pair. I for one have huge thighs ( or used to...maybe exercise is helping?) and could never pull of a pair of skinny jeans.

I've been wanting to try on a pair of jeggings for a while now. I know I look good in leggings , and I know I look good in jeans , so I thought the combo would HAVE to work. It doesn't work for everyone , but it does for me. Not only do they make my butt look good , they make my legs look skinnier. No joke. My thighs for the first time ever didn't look ridiculously large. So once I have a job and bills paid off , this girl is getting a pair. They're super comfy and a great alternative to skinny jeans I think.

My dad spent 5 min bashing them , but you know what ? I'm still in love with them. Plus if you get a long enough shirt ( and modest shirt really ) it will cover the slightly unattractive waist band. That's the only thing I didn't like about the pair I tried on.

All in all , i'm in love with the jegging. Add me to the list of someone who will buy those. I've been waiting for them to exist for almost my whole life I think. I'm going to go finish getting ready now. Love ya'll!!

I love him

Sometimes Gregg can be a little confused. ie : Not knowing that telling your family you're going to propose is NOT sufficient information for both the warning that it's coming , and the announcement that it happened. I feel like there is a huge apology owed to his family. Maybe I should have gotten their number from him and called. At least then they wouldn't have had to find out over facebook. I feel terrible. So for everyone out there who reads this and should have gotten a phone call but didn't I apologize. We're new at this. Plus we're both kind of socially awkward. So from the bottom of my big heart. I'm sorry this didn't happen right.

Dear Afton

Dear Afton ,
You've only been engaged 2 days. How about you don't flip out if the wedding isn't planned TONIGHT. It will get done. I promise. MO will make sure of it. Okay ? So , calm down , go to sleep , focus on getting a summer job , and breathe. Kay thanks.
Love , yourself.

Engaged :)

Guess who's engaged and can FINALLY tell everyone. THIS GIRL!!!

That will be my ring as soon as we can get it :) kay thanks.

A Southern Soul

I'm pretty sure I have a Southern Soul. I'm loving being back in the South. A LOT. I miss Gregg , but i'm loving the warm weather and the sloooow days. Seriously. I don't know what it is , but even on the busiest days that I can remember having down here , they seemed so slow. It's like people actually take time to enjoy life down here.

The feeling of slow days began the second I stepped out of the airport and hasn't left me yet. It's nice to just finally enjoy life for what it is. The pollen is kind of ruining my slow days , because my allergies wont let me get out and walk around and enjoy the weather , but seriously ya'll. If you ever need a fantastic vacation I highly recommend the South.

When I was in the car with my mom I was thinking this : " Georgia , where children are drinking Sweet Tea the second they're on bottles , and eating Chick Fil A nuggets the second they have teeth." There's something about the way life passes in the South that makes me yearn to raise my children here.

Alas , that will never happen. No Joke. The boy would never let it happen. I asked. So my children will make several visits. It's just the way it's going to go. I don't think you'll ever be able to take the Southern girl out of me. I'm okay with that.

A conversation about Nuts

Sometimes My fajah and I have conversations about the cans of mixed nuts you can buy at the store. They go a little something like this :

F: Afton , these nuts are bad.
A: I know, the cashews are all shriveled
F: No, I mean they taste burned or something.
A: yeah I know , I've eaten them. and by them I mean the ones I like. By the ones I like I mean the cashews and the Almonds.
F: Well... Almonds are good.

This his how pretty much all of our conversations go. Well as far as food is concerned anyways. Well and we don't say all food is bad either. Or shriveled. That was just one of the best parts of my last night. I needed to share, because frankly , I giggled a little to myself after this conversation.

Hi.

Today has been interesting. To say the least. This morning I got my hair cut. It looks GOOD. Then mom drove me around to turn in applications. While out the large amounts of pollen got in my eyes and made my contacts nearly impossible to wear. I did it though. Mostly because i'm crazy awesome like that. Get home and what do you know ? I have a very random , very bad rash all over my hand. it's weird,I have no clue where it came from.

Also. Last night my left Cheek (ahem. lower cheek) Started hurting. BAD. I literally lost sleep over this. It continued on to right now. So what have I done ? Well I took tylenol for the lower region and benadryl for my rash. Problem solved. Kay thanks.

Awkward Turtle

Okay folks. I just wanted to make a mini post.I want to make a little blog lovin shout out every now and then. Today it is for this Gal's blog. This may seem a little odd since i've never actually met her , but I feel like she's one of my best friends. Weird? Perhaps , but you guys should seriously check her out. Seriously. You'll love her . Not in a weird , please marry me way , but in a please-be-my-best-friend way. Seriously. Okay. this post was awkward in General , but you get the idea right ? I hope so.


On a different note , I'm getting my haircut. Like this. ( please let this be below the picture...Can you tell i'm just now figuring out how to blog ??) Anyways. Long layers , Side swept bangs... Hopefully. Cute no ? I love it. Except maybe it's just me , but Hilary looks a leetle high in this picture.

Okay , I'm done bugging ya'll. Much love folks.

Puppy Love

I REALLY love this boy. A WHOLE LOT. Especially when he pulls really cute faces like the one above. Those eyes too. OH MY. I melt just thinking about him. I guess what i'm trying to say is i'm in love. I've fallen hard.

2

Uhm , I'm pretty sure my emotions right now are at the maturity level of a 2 year old. One throwing a huge tantrum. You see. I didn't sleep at all last night. As you can tell by the many posts. Plus I miss Gregg. So the insides of me are curled up in the fetal position crying their eyes out. I've been staying in my room so I don't bite off any heads and randomly breaking out in tears. Mostly because i'm so tired. BLEH. Anyways , i'm done with my random post about how old my insides are. This post sounded a LOT better as I wrote it out in my head. Sorry.

Random thoughts of a sleepy Afton

Hi , this evening I can't sleep. Because of this i'm posting yet again. A post that may or may not get deleted by tomorrow evening.I haven't decided yet. I have so many things running through my head though so maybe this will help. Mom says if I have to vent just do it in a word document that way it's out and then you can delete it. Or send it to her so she can laugh. BUT i'm not venting. I'm just rambling. There's a difference right? Maybe I should still just write this in a word document. Too late.

First thing is , I really should take up writing again. When I was a senior in highschool , I had a poem of mine published in the schools... Literary book. I'll call it that anyways. I also was known in my family for writing cheesy love stories. Don't get me wrong , they were pretty good.Just cheesy. I gave the best of those to my mom for Christmas one year. At least I think that's what I did anyways. I was reading one of the stories I wrote in Nov of 2010. It made me want to write again. Maybe one day i'll do that. Who knows.

Piano. I realized Sunday that I should really practice again. Piano has this calming effect on me that nothing else has been able to compare to. I really should practice more. Not only because I love it , but because apparently nobody in relief society knows how to play. Which I find extremely odd. So my sister and I are kind of having to take over as far as music goes. Weird right ?

Bathroom. This one really is random , and kind of unnecessary I suppose , but I hate having such a small bladder. I'm pretty sure no amount of water is going to expand said bladder. As a result i'm always worried that my constant trips to the bathroom are one day going to wake up my parents and make them mad. I can't help it. Which leads me to this.

I'm going to have a horrible pregnancy when I finally decide to have children. It's something I've come to accept. I just know it's going to be bad. I have a small bladder now? add baby pressing down on that. I have crazy mood swings now ? Add pregnancy hormones . I have odd cravings now... Well , multiply that with the odd pregnancy cravings... I'm doomed to have a terrible pregnancy. Or at least a normal one... times a billion. I'm pretty sure no one is looking forward to pregnant Afton.

Which leads to my conclusion of I love designing rooms in houses. I think i've planned the way my apartment/ house is going to look when i'm married a billion times over and over again. I LOVE IT. I took an interior design class in High School that I absolutely loved. Is it odd that all the home-y classes in High School were the ones that I took and did the best in ? No joke. Nutrition , Child Development , Interior Design , Home-Ec. I Rocked those classes.

Anyways , I'm pretty sure you guys are done listening to me rant. I'll go now.

help

I promise after this post i'll drop it , but seriously everyone, can you guys read this email I sent to my ex and tell me exactly how I was talking inappropriately to him ? I can't for the life of me figure out how this is in any way inappropriate. Maybe i'm just too close to the situation and stupid to figure it out though... So your help would be appreciated. I'd love to know exactly what I said wrong.

Hey I have some pictures from your mission , and A baby picture of yours. I wasn't quite sure if you wanted those or not. So If you want them It would be awesome if you could message me your address so I can mail those off to you. Oh and I heard you were engaged. Congrats :) When's the big day ?

If you guys can figure it out i'd love you forever. I just want to know exactly what it was i'm supposed to be in trouble for...thanks.

Do you mind ?

Would it be really odd to rename my blog "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen " ? I'm really feeling like that name would better fit my posts.

Moving on. I made dinner tonight. Let me just say it's going to be delicious , and yummy. Which are practically the same exact thing.

Tonight we're having Oven Breaded Chicken, Potatoes ( still deciding on whether to mash them or not , and Green Beans.

Yummy huh ? Just wanted to share. Kay thanks.

This is Why

The reasons I date and love Gregg are different , and the same , everyday. Like today for instance. I asked Gregg to call me after a horrible afternoon. Took a nap. When Gregg called me I told him the story from the post below. Gregg the proceeded to tell me that she was probably just Jealous and threatened by me. Which Is why I date him. Because when my days almost completely suck , he tells me i'm awesome.

So thanks Gregg :)

Really ?

I got a message from my ex's fiancee. I feel as though I should back this story up too. I facebook messaged HIM last night , asking him if he wanted me to mail him back his mission pictures and some of his old stuff. that's all I said. In the spirit of being nice I even asked him about when the wedding was and if he was excited.

I get a message back from his fiancee telling me that I'm talking inappropriately towards him and how i'm just being a complete bitch to him and that everything i've ever said about him isn't true and to never contact him again ( didn't plan on it anyways ) and how she hopes my current relationship will eventually be good enough for me to forget all about him.

OKAY MISSY. A) I don't know you. You have NO RIGHT emailing me and telling me off like that. Maybe he's not a cruddy boyfriend to you , but he was horrible to me. You weren't in that relationship , you don't know. B)I NEVER EVER planned on talking to him after that message. I simply wanted to send him his shiz that I will now burn anyways. thanks. C) My relationship with Gregg is amazing. I'm so over your boy. DONE. I was DONE with him when I saw him back in July. I was DONE with him when I dumped him and MOST OF ALL , I was done with him when he told me ya'll are having sex.

Gregg and I are amazing , I love him. I have forgotten your man. Have I forgotten how he treated me after I gave him 2 years of my life. no. Will the feelings from those 2 years ever go away ? yeah they're gone , but I will always remember how i DID love him. Not anymore. Not that he's marrying trash like you. Gregg makes me forget everything. Gregg is more than enough to make me forget your boy , and he's more of a MAN than your BOY could ever hope to be. I mean that in EVERY SINGLE WAY it could possibly be twisted turned and taken.

Moral of this story ? Don't be a bitch and send me hate messages. You are in no danger of me stealing the little boy you've decided to marry and take care of.

Apology

Sorry the blog picture is SO BIG. That was completely unintentional. I promise. Even though I would personally LOVE to blow this picture up REALLY big and hang it up in my room. Haha . Seriously

I LOVE THIS BOY SOOOOO MUCH. And I miss him so much it hurts. Mostly I love him though. Forever and EVER!!!

OH MY BODY

So The very day I got home my mother and I decided we were going to exercise everyday. ( well she probably already did this but...) So we've been doing just that. Wednesday we went on a walk around lake Horton. Thursday we did 150 sit-ups , and today ? Today we did both. Except 100 sit-ups. Apparently i'm a weakling. So Today my body has REALLY hated me. I don't blame it.

I have to tell you about this amazing deal mother and I got today while shopping.So I have this shirt that I can wear with cute belts. FINALLY. So mother and I went to Dots , one of my favorite clothing stores , and found a super cute belt. Except it didn't have a tag. SO. Mother took it up to the counter and explained what was going on. Turned out that belt went to a dress that they no longer sold in the store. As a result the Manager just GAVE us the belt. FOR FREE. She was only going to throw it away apparently.

Is that a win or what ? We thought so. In other news Dad and Brett finished putting down the wood floor in our front room. I'll put a picture up when it's all done and to my mothers liking. IT'S AMAZING. New favorite room of the house? I think so.

I feel like I should tell you that earlier today I wrote " I AM IRON MAN" on the white board in our kitchen. I'm that awesome. Kay , I'm going to go now. And do something ...else.

Rough Start

So I'm home. Meaning Gregg and I are in our first stages of Long-Distance relationship , and in effect the rough patch of relationship. We're in the whole still figuring out how we're going to talk to each other every day stage. What's worse is that i'll get a job soon then figuring out how we're going to talk is going to get even more complicated for a while. Which sucks. BUT.. I know it will be absolutely worth it when A) We finally figure this whole long distance talking thang , and B) When I finally get to move back out to Utah and be with him forever. COMPLETELY WORTH IT.

For now though , I have to fill out applications , finish my laundry , shower, sleep , and figure out when I can talk to Gregg again. So I'm gonna go now. Love ya'll.

Grateful

Today I'm thankful. I'm so thankful for a boyfriend who is wiling to stay awake for over 24 hours , just to be with me for 2 hours before I need to leave for the airport , who takes me to the airport then sticks around to make sure I get on and when I don't picks me up, takes me to dinner , then sits with me until my friend can pick me up.

I'm thankful for an amazing friend who upon finding out i'm homeless for a few days lets me come over and stay with her until I can get to the airport again. Who makes me waffles in the morning and lets me borrow her shower and pillows and stuff so I can sleep good and smell clean.

Finally I'm thankful for skype and facebook and Text 'em . Technology in general that let's me keep in touch with those two and my family so when i'm sitting in an airport i'm not bored and can get the inside scoop on what flights look like.

Mostly what i'm trying to say is that how even on what seemed like the worst day ever , I still had things to be thankful for and friends to lean on. I've never felt more blessed in my life. I've also never felt so confused. Or tired.

Bittersweet lovin'

My week has been E-Mo-tional. No joke. I've spent the last 3 days crying and right now i'm procrastinating packing AND doing cleaning checks. Simply because My back hurts and when i'm done it will all be real. Final. Boo. I'm moving home. Gregg has been coming over after work early in the mornings simply because we knew we were running out of " together time" Which is rough. So a lot of the time I spent my mornings listening to Gregg snore in the next room. Which is actually very adorable , but tear-jerking all at the same time.

I don't know how I would've made it through the last year without my best friend and better half. I know we'll still get to talk , but i'm going to miss being able to date him. To cuddle up next to him on the couch and kill zombies. To know that no matter what he's there. I'm going to miss having him over and say Hey Garjuss... you look beautiful. ( even when i'm not ) Most of all i'm going to miss his kisses and hugs. And his arms. Those sexy arms. and shoulders. I'm going to miss the way he smells.

I'm going to miss his arms that wrap around me so tight , and dancing with him in the kitchen while we cook. All in all , i'm going to miss my best friend. I wish I could pack him up and bring him with me. I can't though and it sucks.

I'm also going to miss my Ginny. She's my best Gal pal. She's my "pic" and tonight we are both shedding tears. Who are we going to spend our weekends with now ? Whose going to be there for me when boys suck ? Good thing we decided to start a lego club. We are awesome. Don't judge.I miss our dirty jokes. We'll always have mutts and jews to lean on though. because they'll never go away. So that's good. Anyways. I suppose I should get back to cleaning and packing. Even though it's REALLY HARD.

Manna from Heaven

Oh my friends. I realize it's been a while.I do. However tonight I had an experience that I just had to share with everyone. Although we all swore it would be our secret.

Tonight , Gregg , TJ , and I had Candied Bacon. It literally changed our lives forever. We kind of felt bad for loving it so much. It had TJ licking the pan. Which was hilarious. I love hanging out with Gregg and TJ and wish I had more pictures of all of us. Anyways. Here's what happened.

Today Gregg came over and I was craving bacon. Like i've never craved it before. So we went out and bought Maple Bacon and cooked it. TJ smelled it and after a hilarious conversation about the light fixtures , we decided to try this candied bacon TJ had heard about. GRAND idea. So he left to go buy the remaining ingredients and Gregg and I left to get him a soda and me a lemon. ( I had a lemon for dinner. Jealous ?) I was craving lemons so that was nice. Then I managed to beg Gregg into going to petco with me.

While at petco we saw some of these amazing creatures that we REALLY want to adopt into our little family. Chinchillas, Hamsters, Rats ( aside from their tails , those rats were adorable.) Iguanas, Fish, Hermit Crabs. We also want a puppy. The adoption dates aren't until the 14th though and even then our apartments won't let us have puppies or we would be ALL over that. So Gregg and I decided our pet of choice will be the adorable little hamster I found. We will name him George. He will live with me. I had to talk myself out of getting him right then. The chinchilla was quite adorable too. Moving on.

When we got back we made the candied bacon. 25-30 min later we had delicious bacon in our stomachs. I really wish there was a way to describe how this tasted , but there are no words. The best I can say is this bacon ruined all food for us. Seriously. Gregg and I were happy before we ate it , then were extremely happy while eating it , then depressed when it was gone. We all wanted more , but didn't have the time to make more. That is my evening.

Story

Remember how a few days ago I said I wasn't going to write on here unless I had a good story? GOT ONE!! AND!! It would work for Awkward/Awesome Thursday. Also Scary Thursday. SO... here goes. Awkward story:

Gregg and I went to the Orem library so he could check out some books.( many of our dates have been brought to us by the Provo and Orem libraries.) Anyways. It's burning up , I'm beyond bored then BAM!! Instant entertainment. There , out in the courtyard, amidst 2 children running around and tons of people walking from one building to the next , a couple. Not just any couple. A deliciously P.D.A. filled couple. It was like watching G rated porn. No clothes came off , no uhm , procreative action going on at all. But the guy DID get to second base. There they were just making out and he just starts going up the shirt for her boobs. I couldn't look away. it's like these 2 people had no shame. I'm pretty sure Gregg and I walked around with throw up in our mouth that entire hour we were there. So while Gregg was busy picking out a book , I was busy telling him what exactly these 2 no shame , no... standards people were up to. I even made him promise me we didn't look like that in public. I know we don't because it's REALLY hard to get that boy to even give me a kiss in public , but still. It was gross. So that's the awkward.

The awesome is that I got Gregg to check me out a fairytale/folktale book out of the children's section of that same library. It's a very cool book of folktales and fairytale's from around the world. I'm very excited to read it. I think he mostly was willing to get the book for the fact that I went up to him and jumped up in down like a 3 year old and said "you've got to check out this sweet book!" I think a tear of joy rolled down my face when he offered to check it out for me.

The scary part of my day yesterday is that Gregg almost got hit by not only one of the buses , but by a van. Apparently people in Utah don't like to look where they're going. I can assure everyone those accidents wouldn't have been his fault. The van was especially scary because it was on my side , well they both were , but I was more scared of the van. Didn't turn on their blinkers and just started moving over. No warning. Freaked me out and was literally the first time i've ever heard Gregg use the horn on his car. People in Orem can't drive. the end.

Disclaimer , I don't watch porn , so maybe it wasn't G rated porn. BUT I know it's some pretty seriously bad stuff. and That's what this looked like. and I didn't "see" any skin aside from faces , so not being able to look away was pretty mild. Me defending myself is making this worse huh?