Hello World!

IT'S HOODIE WEATHER IN UTAH AND I LOVE IT. It brings back so many memories , and gives the hope of making new ones. Gregg comes back in 2 days. which is awesome. I also have to pee bad. but ya'll don't really care about that. anyways. that's my news. The end

Before Bed.

Dear Blogging world. Since Brett Emma demanded more blogging from my end , and since I have nothing to talk about , I shall tell you about my before bed routine and the quirky-ness that is Afton. I laugh about it now that I realize this ACTUALLY goes down. EVERY NIGHT.

so around 12:55 am I do my post Craig Ferguson , Pre Oprah squats... on the couch... I like the bounciness... don't judge. at 1am I'm in my room on my bed , writing in my Journal , followed by my scripture reading which depending on how long the 5 chapters are , can last anywhere from 10-30 min. Then I pray. I climb into bed and this is where the quirky kicks in. I realize I haven't peed yet. So I get up to go to the bathroom then head back to bed. And repeat that step about 3 more times before I can actually go to sleep. Not even kidding. I CAN'T SLEEP IF I DON'T GO TO THE BATHROOM FIRST. It's literally impossible for me. I'm afraid i'll wet the bed if I don't. I don't know when exactly this started or if I've always done it , but I just now noticed it.

My other quirk is that I HAVE to have a full bottle of water by my bed. I have to. Here's the logic in that. I have panic attacks right. Well I've finally gotten to the point where I can make them stop if I drink water. So I keep a bottle of water with me at night. Why does this help. I'll tell you my strange and twisted logic. Water is made of H2O two hydrogens and one Oxygen. well , we need oxygen to breathe right? Well water has oxygen , so I will NOT die if I drink water. Because i'll have Oxygen. Silly I know.

My other need? The phone. It has to be in my room. Like someone is really going to call me in the middle of the night. Probably not , but if they do , i'll be prepared.

So that my friends is my before bed routine. Enjoy.

Emotional....boo

So I was laying in bed last night , trying so very hard not to throw up. It didn't work , but I tried. and that's what counts. Anyways I didn't get on to talk about that. I got on to say that As I was laying in bed I was looking at a picture of my sisters and I on my Ipod that was taken 3 years ago. For the life of me I could not figure out where I fit in. at all. My mom is my mom. My dad is my dad. Brett is the down to earth , smart, girly girl. everything a parent could ask for in a daughter. Colby is smart , and Beautiful , and funny , and just your all american girl. again , everything you could ask for in a daughter. Then there's me. I have a wild imagination. I dream big , I'm hardly ever "down to earth" I can't save money. Seriously it's impossible for me. I've tried. I'm not especially funny. I don't fit into my family at all. I feel so.... left out. I mean I was looking at this picture and couldn't figure out what I was doing. I don't fit in. I ended up crying myself to sleep. I don't belong. I don't mind not fitting in I suppose. I don't mind not belonging, but you know. every kid knows just where they fit in , in their family. I don't. I just want Gregg to get back from his cruise. I feel like I fit in when I'm with him. I dunno. I promise i'm not usually this much of a mess.

Oh Gregg

Tonight Gregg left. His last words before he left? " I love you Afton , see you in a week." What does that make me do? Bawl like a baby and listen to Airplane like a billion times over and over and over again. The end. I'm going to bed now. Peace out.