Motivation

So a while ago I commented on my sisters blog then posted a blog of my own. Moral of this story is that after that my dad sent me a message on facebook. I've kept it. Why? Because whenever i'm feeling down or stressed , I read it and it makes me feel a lot better. It helps me keep going. and that my friends is my random second post of the day.

Life's not fair.

I'm not quite sure how many time's my mother has told me this in the last few weeks but it seemed almost over whelming last night. I had a lovely day yesterday. and i'll tell you why...

Yesterday morning I woke up and went with Jamie to her interview so she could interview and so I could apply for a job. After that we rode the bus home. Jamie hopeful that she would get a job , Me hopeful that I would get and interview , and both of us loving the beautiful weather the Lord sent our way. We got to our bus stop by our home and walked the rest of the way just chatting it up. Once we were home I ate a few bites of Chicken Noodle Soup , and took a nice...2 hour nap. The very second I woke up Gregg Knocked on my door. And gave me the sucky news. So after I got that (mostly) taken care of We went over to his apt for a while. He made some delicious , potato and brown mushroom gravy stuff that us poor college kids eat when we have no money because it fills you up. Sort of. Then we finished Star Wars II in our little star wars marathon.

After 2 episodes of Simpsons and like 10 min of another movie Gregg drove me home. Where I proceeded to break down. I had had it. I knew I had gotten myself into a very strenuous situation , but I just couldn't understand why the Lord couldn't help me get out of it. I couldn't understand why my life had to be so extremely hard. Which frankly in turn is kind of... testing my testimony. It's like when someone you know dies and you can't understand why the Lord just had to take them from you. It felt like that. Jamie and I were discussing how it's the feeling of not being able to go on.

Not the suicidal kind, the kind where you love life , but you just can't do it anymore. you can't take anymore of what life is dealing you. It seems like everyone in Provo is going through that right now. Not even kidding . I've heard this feeling from at LEAST 10 other people.

So after i'm sitting in Gregg's car bawling. He finally just hugs me and tells me everything will be all right. I've never been more grateful to him in my life. He knows me well enough to know exactly what to say. I know everything won't be all right , and He knows that I know that , but somehow when he says it I believe him . I'm glad he did say it , because it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. After that we came inside , built a quilt fort , his idea, because again he knows exactly what to do to make me feel better. And we laid under it and found the big and little dipper.

Then we hung out this morning. We watched the man in the mask , then picked up his check , got gas , went to Wendy's for lunch and had a blast. Got home and find out Jamie got the job so her hopeful came true , then found out I GOT AN INTERVIEW , so my hopeful came true and has been replaced with a new hopeful. Then I uploaded photos onto facebook. and now i'm writing to you. I'm stressed out , but at the same time i'm able to find peace among the crazy. I have Gregg and my parents to thank for that. Mostly Gregg though , because my parents aren't here to hug me and tell me everything will be okay. They probably wouldn't do that anyways, because they are brutally honest with me. Which I love. Most of the time. But they take care of me and make sure i'm okay.

So here's to hoping I get that job. So I can stay out here with the man I love. and that's it.

Lately

Today I spent all the live long day with Gregg. FANTASTIC. because he loves me. He tells me so every time I see him. But the difference is I KNOW for SURE that he means it now. Greggs bday is next... Wed. BOO. but maybe i'll have a job and be working. So that would be bueno!Haha , but anyways. What I got on to talk about. I'm applying to 2 jobs tomorrow. A telemarketing job and a job in American Fork at the CFA. I'm hoping I get both. That would be fan-freaking-tastic. That would mean I could stay in Utah and love Gregg for the rest of our lives. Anyways , I have to be up early to apply because I'm going with Jamie to her interview so she can do that and I can apply to said telemarketing job. WISH ME LUCK!!

If wishes were kisses , mine would all come true.

So here is what i'm insanely bummed about right NOW. First of all I can't sleep because my ears are in major pain. By major I mean I feel like they are going to explode. Blehhh.

The main bummer is this. Gregg's birthday is coming up next week. I can't get him ANYTHING. and I desperately wish I could. He says all he wants is to spend time with me and some kisses. Which Ironically is exactly what I told him I wanted for my birthday. Lucky for me I got that.( Even though we had broken up like 2 days earlier) He was sad he didn't get me anything , but I really didn't want anything. I'm at that age where I just don't care.However I do wish I could give him something. I know what he really wants for his birthday... is this still in italics? meh.anyways.I know what he wants for his birthday. I'm positive his family will give him the main thing. There is however something else he wants... and I can't get it for him. which is kinda stinky.

I literally wish I was a billionaire so I could just buy him , and me for that matter, whatever we wanted. and still pay the bills. well , I'm going to attempt to sleep now. peace out.

5 hours

Gahhh leeeee....What an exhausting life I lead. literally. I've lost weight. Gregg comments on it everytime he sees me. He also is guessing how much. His call is 8 pounds. I guess we'll never know since I don't have a scale. I love the way he looks at me though. He'll look at me , then comment on how I'm losing weight , then pull me into his arms and give me a gigantic hug. Then he tells me how many pull ups he can do and tells me to feel his Biceps. Which I GLADLY do. I love that boys arms. And shoulders. So hey , if he wants me to feel how big his arms have gotten , i'm not going to complain.

I have started watching the Food Network. Paula Deen and I are becoming best friends. So right now i'm watching Cake Wars. Oh and Saturday night I watched Letters to Juliet with Jamie. It's an AMAZING movie. I would definitely have it on DVD right now if I had the right discs. Anyways. I watched General Conference Last weekend. All of Saturday , which was a first for me. Second session of Sunday. Although I still missed the prophets talk because my roomie was too busy bashing him. Weird. I know.

Otherwise not much has gone on in my life. Just looking for a job, praying I can stay out here. I mean , I love my family and I miss being home, but I'm not ready to leave Gregg. It literally is causing me major stress. Anyways. I'm hanging out with Gregg in the morning. 5 ish hours to be exact. He has a cold. which is sad. Very sad. People are having babies. hehe. anyways. I'm bored so i'm gonna get on FB. Love ya'll!!!