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Day 28 - A picture of something you’re afraid of.

Okily Dokily Neighborinos...( oh Flanders ) Uhm Things i'm afraid of :

Spiders: I literally freak out every time I see a spider , and if Gregg's around I scream for him to come kill it. He thinks i'm a baby , but I have never met a spider I liked. Sorry , but i'm pretty sure they want to eat me.

Death : Hence the Grim Reaper. I'm not so much afraid of death as I am of dying. I don't know what it's like to die and honestly it freaks me out. I'm not afraid of being dead , just the process of dying. Scares me.

Escalators: I have no clue why I'm afraid of these aside from the fact i have a fear of passing out on them and falling down the stairs for eternity. Sounds like torture huh ? Bet you never thought of it that way before huh ? Now you are.

Airplanes : This is really a love hate relationship. You see I love flying. I love traveling , I love the idea of being in the air, of being able to fly. I'm afraid of the plane crashing. That's what i'm most scared of.

So there you have it folks. My fears.

Engaged.

No, not me you sillies. I had ya'll excited for a second huh ? Sorry. Does not look like i'll be joining the Brinkerhoff clan anytime soon.

This is about Juice bag ex-boyfriend. Don't worry. I'm not going to be too mean. It's just that Today A friend and I found out he's engaged. Everyone has been asking me how I feel about this. If I have to answer that one more time I might pop. SO : For all you wondering here's how I feel about it.

I've been getting the feeling that he's engaged for a while now. So to actually find out he is really didn't come as a surprise and really doesn't bother me. Good for him.
Everyone wants to know if i'm pissed. Let's just say these things right here.

This boy was emotionally abusive to me for close to 2 years. Am I pissed that I'm not the one he's engaged to ? Definitely not. I'm glad I got out of that relationship when I did. I knew the Lord had better things in store for me. back in July/August ,during the week Gregg and I were broken up , yeah I missed this guy a little. I had the opportunity to see him though and all feelings for him went away. Completely. I know I'm not supposed to be with him. So no , i'm not pissed he's not engaged to me.

Am I pissed that after all the crap he's put me through that he gets to be happy ? Absolutely. I'm pissed that a guy who was so horrible to me gets to have everything just laid at his feet. Heck , I bet his parents bought the ring for him. Do I think that's fair ? Absolutely not. It bothers me a lot. Is it my call though ? No. Some people (sometimes it feels like everyone) are going to have it easier than me. I am pissed that he gets to be happy and engaged , when every single day I'm afraid that Gregg is going to dump me. When on days like today Gregg doesn't know if he wants to marry me ever and i'm afraid i'm going to lose him. No I don't enjoy it. Yes, it does piss me off.

All in all though. I wish him and the girl well. I hope they have a happy life together and I really hope he doesn't screw her over like he did to me. I hope she knows what she's getting herself into. I'm not going to be all mad or be all sad and depressed about another person I know getting engaged while I sit here and twiddle my thumbs. It's not going to make anything better. I know the Lord will make it happen for me when it's supposed to. I'm willing to wait.

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.


This is literally the first picture I found. So this is a picture of me and my sisters and Gregg ( who is practically family ) when they came to visit for Christmas. ENJOY!

I know , I know

I realize I complain A LOT on here lately , but I just need to vent. To someone. Plus i'm pretty sure you readers love me enough to listen to me vent and still love me. I'm just having one of those days. I want to share a Awkward and Awesome moment though. After all... it is Sydney's Awkward and awesome Thursday. okayyy.

Akward :
Walking in on my Roommate Tara and her boyfriend Dave , going at it in the kitchen. Uhm sorry. I didn't realize the kitchen was our designated make out mansion.

Awesome:
Using my blood money ( plasma ya'll) to go to Cafe Rio and avoid further awkward-ness from above couple.

So that's really what I want to vent about. I'm so tired of living in an Apartment where my roommates boyfriends sleep over ALL THE FREAKIN TIME. seriously. Get married or just stay at your own place. I want to vent about the fact that now that a second rape has happened said boyfriends are staying over even more. Seriously , just do what I do and have them walk you to the door.

I'm tired of couples *Tara and Dave, Tim and Emily* not being considerate of others around them. Gregg and I go out of our way to not make you people uncomfortable , so have the same respect for us as we do for you. We understand that you don't want to see us macking or viewing our P.D.A , so have enough respect for us to make sure we don't have to see you doing it. Common sense people. USE IT.

I'm tired of living at the Branbury where they don't tell us about rapes until 5 days later or robberies until 2 months later. Really guys ? We want to feel safe here. Not like we're going to die any second. I hope you guys realize that you're going to be losing business because of this. If you can't give us the basics safety measures, you shouldn't be in business. I'm tired of living in an apartment where I feel like if I go out of my room I'm going to be subjected to large doses of PDA and get blamed for messes that aren't even mine. I just want to be done with all this.

Nearing the end

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

HMMMMM something that means A lot to me...

I'm gonna go with my relationships with all these people.
Gregg: This boy... I'm in love with him. It literally broke my heart last night when he looked up at me all sweet and said " do you love me? Are you sure you don't want to be with your ex boyfriends?" Oh Gregg. Of course I love you. There is NOBODY i'd rather be with than you. He challenges me in so many different ways ,but it makes me a better person. Nobody else has been able to do that. I appreciate everything about him.

Ginnayyy: I met my Ginny in college at the LDSBC. Well technically I met her at work when I worked at Hollister. We found out we went to school together , and we've been besties ever since. She (and Gregg) have gotten me through so much this year. She comes over for play dates almost every Friday , and i'm so lucky to have a best friend like her. She goes through so much that I just admire her. She's someone I really look up to.

Brett: Brettly is my little sister. Even though she's taller than me. Brett was my best friend growing up. She probably still is. Except we never talk. I should fix that. She's almost done with her 1st year of college and i'm SO proud of her. I've always been jealous of her and that hasn't changed a bit. Super pretty and photogenic. I feel like she's kind of lived my dream life.

Colby: My baby sister, that isn't a baby anymore. Oh Colby. Probably the funniest person in our whole family. We've been so blessed to have Colby around. Let me just tell you a little story. When I was 18, I moved out of my house. I got sick and had to come home. When I got back Colby was the only person who acted like nothing had happened and treated me the same way she always had. I really appreciated that,it felt that at least one person still loved me unconditionally no matter what. That's what I love most about Colby. How much she just loves people. No matter what. I wish I could be more like her.

Mom and Dad: I'm going to lump them together because hey they're married and this is getting really long. My parents are . Awesome. I love them. Even when they annoy every fiber of my being. I love them. They raised me and that's probably been really hard to do. I know i've never been an easy kid , but they did it. I'm lucky to have them.

and I'm going to stop because i'm crying and i'm thirsty and hungry. So i'm gonna go.

5 more days !!

Day 25 - A picture of your day.


Well I don't have a "typical" day so I'm going to tell you what's going on in my day TODAY.


I do always make sure I have batteries in my camera , and I always make sure it's with me. You just never know what'll happen or what you'll see that you'll want to remember forever. I just like having it with me because I love the camera. I don't like that trick it does with weight , but I do love cheesing it up for a camera. I also find beautiful shots almost all the time. So... it's good to have around.

Today i'm going to play with some cute boys at the library. I'm really looking forward to it. I've kind of missed them a WHOLE LOT. You can ask Gregg. I literally ask him everyday at least twice, when I can go play with his nephews again. He always says "I don't know. Soon." I love how specific his answers to my questions are.

Then i'm sure i'll eat at some point today. I'm not sure what or anything , but I know i'm not going to starve myself. Anyways. That's my Wednesday for ya!

I'm getting OUTTA here.

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change


So I officially live in the danger zone. And while I do love living on the wild side , this is just out of my comfort zone. I know these kinds of things happen everywhere, being a rape victim myself , this is something I will NOT put up with. Especially since it's happening practically in my front yard.

In the last 7 months bad things have been happening. Start with June 2010 : A girl in my ward gets raped , beaten , and left for dead. Nothing to big ( that I know of) happens again until January 2011 where there was a robbery by the same guy who Saturday February 19, 2011 Tries to rape another girl. Luckily her roommates were home and heard her screaming. The guy ran away but they caught him.

Moral of the story is 2 rapes in 7 months , and a robbery makes me think I'M MOVING. Yes my friends. In August when my contract is up I will be vacating the Branbury. They'd have to pay me close to a million dollars to get me to stay. What's all this have to do with today's challenge?

I would like to change where I live. Kay thanks. So if any of you Utah people want to take in a beautiful , funny , shorty girl, or know of anywhere cheap to live , hook a sista up !

My day , My week.

SO . Here's what happened today. I got up at noon , took a shower , cleaned my room , made my bed. Basically I got ready. Then Gregg and I went to go give plasma. It's just bad. I had a high pulse so I had to wait half an hour before I could even get into the interview room. Then they tried to get me to do that whole "please pee up to this line , then put the cup in this door " For the first time ever I couldn't do it. Then during the physical the Dr. tickles me. He doesn't mean to , but it happens. So he has to wait until my giggles subside before he can finish the physical. THEN I sit down in the chair and get a REALLY bad reaction. It was close to closing time , so they decide to just stop the procedure . So NOW I have a hole in my arm and my finger.

Which leads to a hungry , tired , overall cranky Afton. So Gregg and I go to his apartment , make mac and cheese soup ( Thanks Trevor) Then do a round of zombies and then I fall asleep. While watching Simpsons . That's beside the point. I still hurt. I'm still tired.

My plans for the week ? Tomorrow , hang out with Gregg till he has to go to work. On Wednesday , Gregg asked me if I wanted to help him watch his nephews. WELL DUHHH. So I will probably go play with 2 or 3 of the cutest little boys on the planet Earth. That's all i've got planned so far. We'll see how things go though. I think Roomies bf is staying the night. Which for some reason bothers me a WHOLE lot. Maybe it's because i'm cranky though. Or maybe i'm just jealous. Either way. I don't like it.

Manic Monday

... Now that i've got the song stuck in my head. I kind of hate my blog. Hate is such a strong word , but I full on hate my blog. I feel like I just can't get it to look the way I want it to. I also feel like I talk about a lot of nothing. Maybe once I'm done with the 30 day challenge I'll start liking it again. As of right now I feel like I have to blog everyday. I don't like that. Then again I am trying to convert this into a type of weird journal thing so I kind of do like it. It's the only way I remember to write. I feel like I have a lot to say, that needs to be said. If only for my future little guys. OH!! Remember how In an earlier post I said I had cute names picked out ? Well I can tell those to you if you like! Yes? Okay.

Girls: I have
Emma Leigh ( Gregg picked this one out )
Courtney Ann ( Stolen from Courtney and Amy )
Adele Lynn ( I just thought it was cute )
Remmingon ( Emmy) Anne

Obviously I won't have 2 girls with the same middle name , but those are my options. Except if I have 2 girls like I want , I'll probably just go with Emma Leigh and Adele Lynn. They are adorable names I think. As for the boys , I'm having A harder time because I just don't really have any boys names I like. So here are the ones I did like.

Boys:
Devon Chase

Okay, I had more , but I lost the list. So when I find it you can look forward to hearing the cute boys names :) anyways. Love ya'll !

I'm a reader!!

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

OH MY GOODNESS !! AGAIN ! okay well folks my favorite book is actually a series. It's called the House Of Night and can be found at your local Walmart. There are 8 books so far with the 9th coming out this November. I think. I'm so stoked. Especially since I have all my roommates hooked on it. Computer won't let me upload a picture though so . I apologize. If you want me to loan you the books though , just let me know :)

Tired

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

I'm so tired of my computer not letting me get pictures for this. Anyways. I figure I get points for at least trying and doing this EVERY day. Things I wish I was better at :
Photography , piano , saving , showing Gregg exactly how much I love him, sleeping, and I wish I was a better daughter.

Anyways. That's what I wish I was better at. Love you guys!!!