Heart Burn...

Okay so this is really a story about me and tums. You know, the antacid? Ready for it ? Okay.

When I was a kid I used to throw up. A LOT. When i'd throw up and still feel nauseous , my mom would give me a TUMS. Usually they help peoples stomachs settle down. Not mine. I would just start throwing up again. So when I was little we had to find other ways to make me feel better because you had better believe if I ate a TUMS , I was just going to throw it back up .5 seconds later.

Where am I going with this ? Oddly enough I finally found a color of Tums that I can keep down. The pink ones. Plus I don't throw up nearly as much anymore. So whenever i'm feeling queasy or have heartburn / acid reflux ( which is why this is getting posted) I eat the pink ones and feel lots better. I'm glad the throwing up was just a stage that I was able to grow out of.

125 days

reason number ...why not 125 ? why i'm madly in love with Gregg. He calms me down. He tells me i'm not crazy , and frankly , he can talk me out of just about anything. If Breathing was crazy , He could talk me out of it. Today he talked me out of my "crazy" plan to make our wedding day just another day.

I told him this " I feel the same way about our wedding day as I did about my 16th birthday. Like it's just another day. If it's just going to feel like another day, why not just make it another day?" He says." It's not just another day. You deserve to feel like a princess , and I can see why you're upset. " he also told me it's going to be one of the best days ever. I believe him.

He makes me remember what's important. He grounds me. ( that makes sense right ?) So after getting me calmed down and talking me back into a reception ( even if he's only talking me into it for the presents ) we planned our Man vs. Food road trip honeymoon. We also planned our engagement pictures. We tried to figure out how on earth we were going to get furniture. We tried to figure out how to get my ring from UT to GA without him losing it.

He spent the evening telling me how much he loves me and distracting me from the fact that I don't get my $450 dollar professional photographer ( that's right folks , I kept doing research and found a even cheaper , and still high quality photographer.Because i'm awesome like that ) We talked about temples and scriptures. We talked about wii and working out. We talked about awkward people.

People , don't ever let me forget how in love I am or how lucky I am.

Let it be known

This girl quits. I am no longer on the hunt for a wedding dress. Yes i'm still getting married , but without all the hassle. No dress , no reception , no cake , no food , no pictures. Totally free. I'm so done. It's too much of a stress and too much of a big deal ,and not worth it. I'm done. My heart is breaking and yet cold as stone all at once. Does that even make any sense ? Maybe not. I want a wedding my way. Since i'm not getting that I'm having low key. A go-to-the-temple- get-married-get-out-go home with my hubby wedding. That's what it should be all about right ? right? Right. okay I just wanted it to go on record.

I mean seriously . All I wanted was my fairytale wedding. I accepted the dress budget. I'm even cool with having a thrift store wedding reception. I'm letting my mom take the engagement pictures, the reception pictures , the bridals if she wanted... is it seriously too much to ask ,after doing LOTS of research of photographers i might add, for her to spend 600 dollars on the cheapest, good quality ,professional photographer for the actual wedding ?

I didn't think so , but apparently it is. This is the ONLY thing i've been adamant about. I can compromise and even care less about what goes on otherwise. For all I care we can order food of the dollar menu somewhere for the reception food. or order a lot of pizzas. we could have no food. I don't care. The professional wedding pictures is all i care about. I won't budge.

So it may be seriously crazy for me to be flipping out about this , but I feel like i've been reasonable about everything else. So I feel like i'm not really being that big of a bridezilla. I feel like I should get my ONE princess thing. I really don't feel like i'm asking too much.

good morning beautiful

I literally don't think my hair's been this crazy since I was a youngin'

Do you think Gregg will still want to marry me after he see's this picture ? Haha I bet he will. He'd even tell me I looked beautiful. He's crazy , but this picture made me laugh this morning as I got out of bed to brush my hair.So I figured i'd share the laugh. I'm off to go make some apple cider and wait for dad to come home so I can have some cfa!!

stress

Maybe i'm overreacting just a little bit , but surely i'm not the only one. So here's the thing. I was going to have a girl from my church do our wedding photos. Turns out she's going to be moving and can't take our pictures. So i'm flipping out. Just a lot. I feel like it's wayyy too early in the planning to already hit a bump.

MO says she'll take the pictures , but I kind of really wanted professional pics. I don't mind the engagements being home done. Here's the thing though. I've been looking online at the photographers in that area. My mom can do way better than all of them. So i'm thinking maybe ? I just don't want to give up on it too quick. So i'm freaking out. If I do even manage to find one I like and that's cheap enough , will they be available on that short of notice ? grr.

Then engagement pictures. Nothing's going wrong. Yet. except for Gregg wants to come the week after Easter. My mom said the 8&9th and the 22nd are the best dates for him to come down so we can get our awesome engagements done. Well as you know the week after Easter include none of those dates. So what then ? I also don't know whether I should go ahead and book the temple date and stuff or if I should just wait till I have the ring ? and if I wait will the date even be available still ? will it be available now ?

GAHHHHH i'm stressing out again. That's bad. REAL bad. boo.

Uhm hi. Are these dresses totally adorable or what ? and all under 50 dollars. super cute. How about that little suit ... I wonder how long those actually stay on a little guy.

127

Would you guys hate me so much if I made the title of my posts how many days I have left before I become Mrs. B? ( I'm feeling especially lazy today can you tell? )You wouldn't? oh good,because i'm going to do it anyways. HA.

Today I want to post a little something special. I guess I could technically post this on our 1yr dating anniversary , but I figure i'm so thankful for Gregg , that this shouldn't wait. Not that he'll read it. I'm pretty sure he hates the fact that I blog. Maybe if he actually read it he'd love it a little more.

Anyways. What I wanted to say is how thankful I am to be dating a man who sacrifices so much for our relationship. Over the last 2 weeks he's lost sleep, driven to and from Salt Lake three times (at least ) and worked several hours of overtime at work (28 to be exact ) just so I could move back home. Except for the overtime. That's so we can afford to do this thing called get married.

I'm so thankful to know that i'm going to marry a man who is so dedicated to taking care of me. It makes me more and more confident each day that i'm marrying the right guy. I should thank his parents for raising such a great kid. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him!! Maybe one day i'll actually deserve him .

Gregg

HAHA my room is kind of turning into a little Gregg shrine. It has made me giggle twice today already. I regret nothing. I love walking into my room and see the many faces Gregg pulls , all over my walls. I'm less lonely , and a lot happier.

I was cleaning up my room ( only to have a mess on the floor again) and found my craft bucket. Sure it only had the baby blanket i'm crocheting and a very incomplete latch hook thing from high school in it. come to think of it they're both from high school... and both are very incomplete. oh well. gives me more projects ! I'll probably never finish the latch hook either. I kind of really hate it now.

MO bought the rest of the jars for the candy table. Her personal project baby. You know what i'm talking about. Like when guys get that car , and the project of rebuilding it becomes their "baby" ? My wedding reception is her "baby" I'm lucky enough to get to help bring this "baby" into the world. okay now i'm feeling a little sentimental. I'm so sappy these days. Just about anything cute will make me cry. I kid you not.

She also got a chandelier for the pies. Fajah and I spent a good half hour taking it apart , taking the wires out , and putting it back together. Next up ? Getting it cleaned up and painted. I'm very excited about that !! Anyways. I'm done. I think.

This Week

This week , what's left of it anyways we're going to try and get me back on schedule.Starting tonight. As in Wednesday. My self proclaimed to-do list is growing though. My mom told me which tasks for the wedding need to start getting taken care of. I also need to help Gregg out and print off the ring size chart and tell him what size ring to get so he can get that taken care of. My other tasks include finishing my laundry , cleaning my room and the bathroom , and exercising. I also need to get back on my diet. So this week has gotten kind of busy , and i'm not even really doing anything.

In other news keep my Grandpa in your prayers. They found some more cancer in his neck and liver. They want to take out the cancer in his neck first and they'll probably leave the cancer in his liver because they think it'll go away on it's own. Keep him in your prayers though :)

I'm off to try and fight insomnia. Maybe I should see a doctor ??

Friends

Dear Blog reading friends,

As I write this I should be getting ready. Or at least finishing that. Instead i'm writing to you about jeggings. That's right. Jean-Leggings. I was a skeptic at first. After trying them on I NEED a pair. SO BAD. If you're the kind of girl (or boy if you're into that kinda thing) who skinny jeans just don't flatter , I highly suggest trying a pair. I for one have huge thighs ( or used to...maybe exercise is helping?) and could never pull of a pair of skinny jeans.

I've been wanting to try on a pair of jeggings for a while now. I know I look good in leggings , and I know I look good in jeans , so I thought the combo would HAVE to work. It doesn't work for everyone , but it does for me. Not only do they make my butt look good , they make my legs look skinnier. No joke. My thighs for the first time ever didn't look ridiculously large. So once I have a job and bills paid off , this girl is getting a pair. They're super comfy and a great alternative to skinny jeans I think.

My dad spent 5 min bashing them , but you know what ? I'm still in love with them. Plus if you get a long enough shirt ( and modest shirt really ) it will cover the slightly unattractive waist band. That's the only thing I didn't like about the pair I tried on.

All in all , i'm in love with the jegging. Add me to the list of someone who will buy those. I've been waiting for them to exist for almost my whole life I think. I'm going to go finish getting ready now. Love ya'll!!

I love him

Sometimes Gregg can be a little confused. ie : Not knowing that telling your family you're going to propose is NOT sufficient information for both the warning that it's coming , and the announcement that it happened. I feel like there is a huge apology owed to his family. Maybe I should have gotten their number from him and called. At least then they wouldn't have had to find out over facebook. I feel terrible. So for everyone out there who reads this and should have gotten a phone call but didn't I apologize. We're new at this. Plus we're both kind of socially awkward. So from the bottom of my big heart. I'm sorry this didn't happen right.

Dear Afton

Dear Afton ,
You've only been engaged 2 days. How about you don't flip out if the wedding isn't planned TONIGHT. It will get done. I promise. MO will make sure of it. Okay ? So , calm down , go to sleep , focus on getting a summer job , and breathe. Kay thanks.
Love , yourself.

Engaged :)

Guess who's engaged and can FINALLY tell everyone. THIS GIRL!!!

That will be my ring as soon as we can get it :) kay thanks.