I'll love you forever...

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

I couldn't choose which picture I liked better of him , so I picked two. I could never imagine my life without Gregg. I try VERY hard not to also. He is my better half. My perfect match. We belong together and I will ALWAYS love this boy. I promise. He has my heart. He had it from the day I laid my eyes on him. Yay for love.

Family...

My family. I want to love them,really I do, but most of the time they piss me off. They piss me off mostly because they can't see that everything they've been doing lately hurts. It's hurting my feelings. It's like they're their own little family and Me the oldest daughter is just some random person they let live there for 20 years. It's like I don't belong and they don't care. I see no reason at all to even consider myself part of the family anymore. It's always been this way. They've had their close knit family of 4 and i'm the random kid thrown in the mix. I'm like the onion ring in the fry box. I need some chocolate Ice Cream and lots of hugs.

13 :)

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Okay So my favorite Artist RIGHT NOW is Kesha. Love her to pieces at the moment. She sings my life. More than Tay Swift. I tried uploading a picture of my favorite band, but paramore isn't cooperating. So there you have it. Paramore and Kesha :) Listen and love them .

Haha , I loved this morning.

Here is how my morning went. Couldn't sleep till 5am big deal. Woke up at 10:30am. I could NOT get my eyes open , So when I walked into the kitchen to get kool~aid , roomie and her Boy laughed at me. So I drank my juice and went back to bed. Until 1:45pm. ( When you work at home like me you have that luxury)Then my friends , I took a shower and that's where things get interesting. After I got out and dressed I NEEDED to take off my eye makeup . I was talking to my best friend Gin last night and the tears were pouring out of my body. You would think i'd run out at some point. Nope. Anyways. These were good tears. They still screwed up my makeup though. So I was like I KNOW!! Rubbing Alcohol will get it off !!! ( We're back to this morning. Ya follow?) So I get a nail polish remover pad thingy , and put a little rubbing alcohol on it and go at it. I did not take into account it would BURN. Seriously my eyes were on fire. The alcohol fumes got to my beautiful blues and make them cry. out of the burning feeling inside them. Good thing that feeling only lasts like 5 seconds. So that's my funny story. Don't use rubbing alcohol to take off makeup. Or do because it works really well. Just prepare yourself for the 5 second burning sensation.

Challenge Day 12...

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

I LOVE this ring folks. So let's all be sure to hint it to Gregg. While you're at it , maybe you should convince him that he wants to marry me. Trust me I can tell he does. I just think he's terrified. He should be. I am. I'm also very sure that I want to be with him forever. More than I want to breathe. More than I want to live. We should all send positive proposal thoughts to Gregg's mind. In fact let's all take a minute to send this telepathic message to Gregg: " Gregg , you want to marry Afton..." DO IT!!! Right now! In fact , make it a little chant in your brain for the rest of the day. Or week. Or however long you feel like. Kay? I'd appreciate it bunches. Or if you simply want to ask him what's holding him back , and relay it to me that'd be fantastic. I have my suspicions. Kay I love you all :)

Day 11 !!

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

Folks I HATE going to the bathroom in an airplane. I'm terrified i'm going to get locked in there and never be able to get out. Literally. Scares me more than almost anything on the planet. For real. I once held going to the bathroom for 8 whole hours when I really had to go , simply because I was that terrified. It hurt so much I could barely walk off the plane and into the bathroom at the airport. I thought I was dying. Anyways there ya go !!

Day 10. I think.

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with. I was correct. I do the most messed up things with Ginny. I'd post a picture , but I just posted one. So, just look at the post RIGHT before this one. You'll see her picture. The end. I'm gonna go back to crying in my bed now. bye.

Hardest day of my life... so far.

Thanks Homer for that little intro... So today's challenge is DAY 9. Well that's the one i'm doing RIGHT NOW. i'll do today's legit challenge later when i'm well rested and not so Sleeping pilled up. Today's post. ahem. Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most. While there are SEVERAL people who have gotten me through A LOT. I'm going to post the pictures of the 2 people who have gotten me through the most lately. By lately I mean The last 2 weeks of my life. They'll probably help me out a lot more too. Considering the huge deal of stress i've been dealing with. Okay ready ? I thought so.

I'm not so sure which picture is first , so I'll just go with Alphabetical order , and I'm positive you'll be able to figure out who is who. Okay deal.

Ginny : This girl. There are no words to describe her. literally. She's done me favor after favor after favor. When i'm feeling sad she always knows just what to do to make me feel better. We've had our ups and downs , mostly ups . She can make me laugh even when I don't want to. PLUS she's always on my side. Probably one of my favorite things about her. She also just lets me be sad and whine to her. I'm expected to do the same , but I totally don't mind.

Gregg: My boyfriend is better than yours. No seriously. This boy just sat with me for about an hour total and let me cry and cry and cry. He told me I'm beautiful even when i'm all puffy eyed and stuffed up from crying. He told me i'm always beautiful. He also told me i'll be okay. Even though i'm not quite sure I will be. He always knows what to say to get me to stop crying. ( I think it's mostly because he doesn't like to see me cry.) He does it in a way that makes me feel like everything will be okay. Because i'm that awesome of a person. He's everything I need and more in a guy. I'm never letting him go. EVER !!!

Okay on to more important matters. Not really important I guess , but they feel important to me and that's what matters most. Today has been SO ROUGH. remember that one post when I was going on about my pity party and said that my parents could go ahead and lecture me? Yeah they took me up on that. I WAS KIDDING!!! So. Moral of the story ? I decided to cut off contact from my parents for a while. They have no faith in me, they stress me out , and they don't support my decisions. Not fully anyways. So for right now , until I'm not so stressed and can handle all the stress they shovel my way I've decided to just... take a break.

Ginny and I were talking and I was telling her that I was going to take a break she said " You just can't let them get to you." I told her that I wasn't sure I could ever get to a point where they didn't get to me. Her short story answer was , If I can one day get to a point where I don't let *regina get to me , then you can do the same with your parents. and by golly we'll get there ! So what did I do ? I killed Nazi Zombies to get rid of all the anger I was feeling , took 2 sleeping pills to forget everything else i'm dealing with , and I'm going to take a night off from worrying about pleasing my parents. Because that will never happen.

I may be a horrible person for taking a break , but honestly I feel it's the best thing for me right now. I feel super worthless right now and I don't deserve that. I know I'm trying hard to fix my life and I shouldn't have to prove that to everyone I see. Especially the people who are NEVER EVER going to believe me. I have my 2 above mentioned friends , who SEE how hard i'm trying. Who SEE the good in me. Who are constantly making me feel like I am doing better. Those are the kinds of people I need in my life. That's who i'm keeping around. Later Taters.

Crazy Beautiful Life..

I love this song simply for the chorus , which describes what I think everyone in my life is trying for right now. It goes like this: Every single night we fight to get a little high on life,to get a little something right, something real, at least we try.
Time after time, try dodging all the *juice* bag guys ,try trading all the wasted times for something real in this crazy life.

Disclaimer: I've edited for your viewing pleasure.

Challenge day 8

I'm doing this one SUPER early in the morning because A) I want to get it out of the way on the day that it's supposed to be done on. B) Because I really want to post a video , and I just wouldn't feel right doing that before I did my challenge. So here it goes. Just an hour after day 7. Just laugh peeps. Just laugh. Okay!Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

I understand that this photo isn't edited in ANY way possible , but I really think that just adds to the humor of this picture. This was taken at a friends birthday party. All of us wanted in on the picture apparently and we all squeezed in and made the most priceless faces. I think it's partially funny simply because of the events that went down and the fact that it was a dance party till 1am... or later. Plus the fact that Ginny was crippled at this point.

Oh how I miss that evening. Good friends. Good party. I always laugh at this picture because of Miles's face. I'm pretty sure you guys can guess who Miles is in this picture...

Day 7 !!!

I know it's late. Honest I do , but I was hoping to get an actual picture of my most treasured items. So here's what the challenge for today was.Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item. Again I have more than one thing for this , so bear with me while I go over each one.

Baby Blanket: My baby blanket that I refer to is not actually my baby blanket. It's a replacement. I pretty much lost my baby blanket in the airport when I was a very young child. I want to say 6-ish. My mommy made me a new one , and it's been recovered and sewn up and patched more than I can even count. To this day I still sleep with it. I actually haven't been able to the last 2 nights because it needs to be washed and I have not slept as good. It's killing me.

Quilt : My mom made me a quilt. Mostly out of fabric leftover from dresses she used to make me and my sisters. I never sleep without it though. I even took it to Delta with me once. During the maybe blizzard Gregg and I were supposedly driving in. I took it just in case we did get stuck on the highway in the middle of a blizzard. I was NOT about to freeze my butt off. Turns out I didn't need it and it spent Thanksgiving in his car. I love that giant quilt. It's also been used to make some pretty killer quilt forts. Just ask the roommates.

Pongo the Panda: Gregg got pongo for me for Christmas this last year. I sleep with that panda every night. He's losing his hair and has been since I've gotten him. Gregg and I joke that it's our child that favors him more than me. What with the cool band shirts he wears, his guitar , and his balding. Oh I mean... Gregg's not balding. Still Pongo is a great cuddle bear and has gotten me through my baby blanket-less nights.

And I think that's it. My most treasured items. I'll post later with day 8. I promise.