This is the month i hate to love.

No seriously this could possibly be the worst month in my relationship every year. Not for a bad reason even. It's just that Gustavo's birthday and our anniversary is on the same day. That means all the attention and stuff for us gets directed to him. I don't mind this. It's coming out wrong. I'm tired. I just think we could've picked a better date to start dating... lol. I wish my birthday fell on our anniversary . plus that means I have to buy double the cards and gifts. lol. anyways. i'm tired i'm gonna sneak in a quick nap. yup.
Chau

Sometimes i'm dumb.

I'll admit it.
Today my manager walked up to me and was like You come in at 7 tomorrow right?
I say yes.
He then asked if I could be at work at 6.
I panicked...and said sure!

I'm dumb. Little did i realize this means the not morning person me has to wake up at 5:30.

That was dumb. not only that , but that would make my day tomorrow a ten hour shift. that shouldnt even be legal lol. oh well at least i'm getting paid.

I think to myself to convince me it's all good : think bigger picture.
It's my new motto : think bigger picture.
It reminds me that i'm not doing it because I love my job , but that i'm doing it because eventually it will turn into something SOOO much better. That makes it all worth it. when I remember why I agree to do things like this , I figure it's not so bad. If it means i'll be able to afford to do things that will be good for my life in the VERY near future, then that makes it completely worth it. all the tears and blood and sweat. they become worth it.
Maybe , just maybe that's what life is all about . the blood , tears , sweat... Maybe life is about the bigger picture. Maybe when christ was atoneing for all the worlds sins he thought. Think big picture. Maybe that helped him through. Maybe we should all think that when life gets rough.
Wow... I'm a deep thinker when i'm extremely tired. I wish i was like that all the time lol
Night everyone. I have to get up way early to put in a piece of the "big picture"

My life is at a stand-still

I am probably the most impatient person to ever walk the earth. Those of you who know me REALLY well would agree with me too. Gustavo's mission seems to be lasting FOREVER. I'm just so tired of him not being here. I am 100% certain that my life would be 10 times better if he were back and in my arms. I feel like for every day that passes I have to wait 10 billion more. I'm really hot so that may be making me cranky too. I'm just tired of having all these day dreams of what life together will be like. I'm tired of imagining what our kids will be and what they'll look like and what we'll name them. I just want to be his wife already!!! I know it will be harder than I can even imagine , but I think it's totally worth it! gosh darn it. sooo.... que pasa?!

In other news... I just read Rikki's blog entry of the day... she was explaining how she kept getting nauseous on this yurt trip they took. yeah I'm feeling way nauseous now. I think i'm having sympathy sickness. ew.

I'm going to try and sleep now. In my hot bedroom. With my gross upset stomach. BLEH.