I'm SCARED!!

Sorry , but I had to take a moment to write down my worries... I'm scared. Mostly i'm scared that Gustavo will wake up one day and NOT love me anymore. Nobody really understands why i'm so worried about this , and sometimes i'm not even sure why but today has been one of those days where i feel like nobody else really loves me and i'm just worried that the day will come when Gustavo will wake up and think to himself " I dont love her" and it breaks my heart just thinking about it. I mean i guess the phrase :"you dont know what you have till it's gone " is right. I didnt know how in love with Gustavo i was until he left , and now i'm afraid that one day he'll decide he just doesnt love me. I'm all of the sudden crying again, and i just cant stop. I wish he was here , and i wish he could just smile my fears away. but he's not. I dont want to sound like i complain all the time because i dont , and lately time has gone by faster. like seriously it feels like just yesterday it was monday , not thursday. I just want Gustavo to come home. I think that's the only time when i'll be perfectly content knowing he loves me still... Wow , this was really long and i still dont feel much better.

My Ghetto Car

True life i have a ghetto car.Why you may ask ? well i dont need the keys to drive it anymore ... i only need them to open the door and keep the steering wheel from locking up... how do i start my car you ask ? I pull a lever... well I have to push it kinda. It's quite adorable and neat-o , i can't lie ... i think i like my car better NOW than i did when it was all in one ( well relatively one) piece.. :) haha just thought i'd share

Color Schemes .. and some Ideas

Ok like i promised here are the following designs .. First the bedroom : I'm thinking Black and red .. Mabye a Black comforter like this one and some red sheets ? Then for my Living room i was considering Brown and Black inspired by a Rug in my room that I hope to take with me after I leave home ? The couch is black with a Lighter brown that matches the brown in the rug i have perfectly and then i was hoping for some cute Black end tables and maybe a small black coffee table too . My Bathroom i Want to be Black red and White ... the towels will be Black and red.. and hopefully the counters will be white hehe... And my Kitchen is going to be White , a Lime-ish Green , and A close to Mahogany Brown .. Like green towels and what not , and Brown chairs , and again White counters ... It will be beautiful and elegant . ;)

Rough week ... only Tuesday...haha

So this would be the second week where i've had a rough week and it's only tuesday ... true life. Anyways since I have a headache , no job , my car's broken, my love is in California ,I decided instead of focusing on all the terrible things going on this week , i'm going to Decide the Colors for my Future Home with Carlos Gustavo ... my prince . Now I know it's 2-ish years down the road , but i need something positive to think on ..And Gustavo usually is my happy topic . (Except for yesterday ... monday.) So , I've only got 2 rooms planned ,but they will be beautiful . i will post up some maybe ideas once i have the other 2 rooms planned ... so yah. Bye.
P.s. I LOVE LOVE LOVE interior design , picking out color schemes and putting furniture in a beautiful arragement makes my day.

He's always with me ...

Not many people know , but my little sister Brett was in a car accident on September 23rd. It was crazy and i was scared and crying and just a mess. She's ok , but just the thought that i could've lost my sister forever had me scared. I needed somebody to talk to and i wanted that somebody to be Gustavo , but i had no way of letting him know. well the week goes by uneventfully and life goes on. well Yesterday ( Saturday) I got a letter from my Gustavo . and on the entry dated wednesday the 24th , gustavo wrote :"I have a feeling that something is not right. Are you ok?" well the fact that amazed me is no I wasnt ok. the previous day's activities were still kinda having their affect on me. Gustavo had no idea what had happened , yet somehow he knew something was wrong with me here in Georgia. I am so glad that the Lord has blessed me with a Man/Missionary , that knows my needs. It is so obvious to me that the Lord knows us and has plans unknown to us ... for us. I am glad that Gustavo went on his mission ,and i'm already reaping the blessings because of it . It was a event i needed to strengthen my testimony of the Lord , and the Lords way of letting me know he is ever mindful of me. I'm so glad to have the gospel in my life , because of it I can marry my best friend for all time and eternity ... I just wanted to share my cool story! Love you Gustavo... now and forever!