Mkay...

Scroll down to the post with all the pictures... cows and me and boy. that one. I miss that guy. I miss the beginning days like dates like that when everything was exciting. Now we're just friends. I can live with that , but I look back at it ( it was last month for crying out loud) like i look back at my childhood. I LOVED MY CHILDHOOD. everything was good. I yearn to go back to the day when the biggest worry i had was what i was going to eat for dinner , and who was gonna come and play with me. I'm the kinda girl who loves comfort and routine, but i LIVE for new and exciting. I like it when new and exciting becomes the comfort and routine. but i have to replace that new and exciting with something else. right then. Right now my New and exciting just turned into comfort and routine... and New and exciting has yet to be found. and i'm getting a little anxious. like i'm waiting for christmas in a way... Anyways. i'm just missing the last month of my life. no worries , Ryan is one of the bestest friends a girl could ask for. but that's it. Something new and exciting will come along... I just have to be patient and wait for it to jump into my arms. I think tomorrow after work. when i'm hanging with Ryan, I will go on a mini photo shoot. In this outfit. Because i like it. and i need new pictures. then when i babysit my Boyzz... I will get all of those kiddos in on it too. I need some photoshoot time. I wonder if their mamma will let me take them to play somewhere. I think she will. i've babysat them for like ...7 almost 8 years? crazy. i feel old. their youngest is 6 now?? i've babysat them since their 7 yr old was a baby. wowwww. I love babysitting like that. I remember changing a girl in our ward's diapers... she's 12 now. woww. yeah so anyways... i'm gonna go nowww.

Hello again

I feel as though i havent posted in forever-which i havent.
I've had so much going on. New relationship, another breakup. -that's some time consuming stuff in itself. but to bigger and more important things. school is drawing to a close. it's crazy to think that in a few months i'll have my degree. Crazy business that scares every single fiber of my being. but in an exciting, better paying, new adventure kinda way. I'm also working almost full time right now , and trying to save money to move out. Which i have to do by may...my parents actually kicked me out-but in a nice way. whatever. i'm thinking Utah is the place i'll go. which scares me even more. because while i know i can get a job out there and rent will be cheaper. I'm going to be on my own. no coming home and just chilling with the family , no daddy to be there when something goes wrong with my car or anything else for that matter. i'll be completely alone. that is another thing that scares me. I've realized i've reached that scarey stage of my life where i have to .... leave the nest. and no one will be there to help me but ... me. whatever. i should probably get in a shower soon. my hair is crazy nasty... well that's the way it feels anyways. I'll talk later. promise :)