Sunday

SO.... I'd like to open with what's been bothering me soooo much the last few days. it's a phrase and a scripture. I was walking to work when both hit me. The first thought was a scripture " Love the Lord thy God with all thine heart and lean not unto thy own understanding , in all thy ways acknowledge him , and he shall direct thy paths." well it goes something like that. Then the thought that followed was the ever famous ," I know the Lord wont give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didnt trust me so much." I feel like that is how my life has been lately. I'm trying to give myself to the Lord , to trust in him and trust that he knows what he's doing and What I need at any particular time. I'm trying really hard, but It's hard. VERY HARD. I see people getting married and having kids, even people just getting dates. I for some reason can't even get a date. I've kind of figured out why too. The guys in our ward, dont want to date girls from our ward , they want to date girls in other wards. I'm not in school ,and I work at the mall. the chances of me meeting a guy from another ward is like 1 in a million. so basically I have NO chance of ever getting a date. at first I was not too happy with this. Mainly because there are some SUPER HOT guys in My ward. but now in retrospect... that's probably a good thing for me right now. That way I can focus on things I need to focus on... like setting a budget and following through. I've also been thinking that as much as I want to get my CNA , I dont think now is the best time for me to do so. I think Tori is going to quit soon because she does have her CNA and has a job already which means it's going to be me and Jake running the Store. And Jake since he's like.... above the regional manager... ( he explained it to me one night) He has other stores he'll have to check on and such. which would leave me. at the store. by myself most nights. Which means no time for me to do much of anything besides work. which will also probably end up being a blessing in disguise... boo to that. So again , I will have no life because i'm dedicating it to the "bigger picture" anyways. Every night I pray for a date. is that wrong of me?