lay down and cry.

That my friends is my plan for the day. Literally. I'm going to lay in my bed and cry and cry and play sad tunes on my iPod so I can cry some more. If I had Radio the movie , I would then watch that. Who knows. Maybe roomie has some good tear jerker's. Why does life have to be so cruel to me ? Sure I've done A LOT of stupid things ,but every time I try to make stupid things right , life decides that it needs to get complicated RIGHT THEN. For instance. I finally got a job. Said job pays me late. Still in time to pay rent though. So what do I care ? Turns out life had to get complicated right then by telling everyone not to cash said check. So I can't pay rent on time. Deadline to have job project done is next week. With no money I can't get to the place I need to be for the project. gah. I need this job to pay off debts. From t-mobile. and to pay future bills. like phone. and to save up for a car so I don't have to rely on other friends. SO , moral of my story? Why when i'm trying to do something good , and straighten my life out so I don't have problems down the road , and so Gregg will want to be with me , Does something pop up ? Why when i'm trying to be responsible does something happen with my life that makes it seem like i'm NOT being responsible. I don't understand. I told Gregg to feel free to dump me whenever he gets sick of dating a mess just waiting to happen. That I wouldn't blame him. He just told me that I would , and snuggled me and told me all the reasons he loves me . Which included because he can fart around me and I don't get mad at him. Oh the simple things that win a guy over. Anyways. I'm going to go get some food to eat while I wallow in self pity. Feel free to join in or tell me you're never going to talk to me again. Or judge me . Or in my parents case lecture me. It's whatever at this point. I'm trying to grow up and be responsible , turns out i've learned my lesson. 10 years too late. Sorry folks.