Life's not fair.

I'm not quite sure how many time's my mother has told me this in the last few weeks but it seemed almost over whelming last night. I had a lovely day yesterday. and i'll tell you why...

Yesterday morning I woke up and went with Jamie to her interview so she could interview and so I could apply for a job. After that we rode the bus home. Jamie hopeful that she would get a job , Me hopeful that I would get and interview , and both of us loving the beautiful weather the Lord sent our way. We got to our bus stop by our home and walked the rest of the way just chatting it up. Once we were home I ate a few bites of Chicken Noodle Soup , and took a nice...2 hour nap. The very second I woke up Gregg Knocked on my door. And gave me the sucky news. So after I got that (mostly) taken care of We went over to his apt for a while. He made some delicious , potato and brown mushroom gravy stuff that us poor college kids eat when we have no money because it fills you up. Sort of. Then we finished Star Wars II in our little star wars marathon.

After 2 episodes of Simpsons and like 10 min of another movie Gregg drove me home. Where I proceeded to break down. I had had it. I knew I had gotten myself into a very strenuous situation , but I just couldn't understand why the Lord couldn't help me get out of it. I couldn't understand why my life had to be so extremely hard. Which frankly in turn is kind of... testing my testimony. It's like when someone you know dies and you can't understand why the Lord just had to take them from you. It felt like that. Jamie and I were discussing how it's the feeling of not being able to go on.

Not the suicidal kind, the kind where you love life , but you just can't do it anymore. you can't take anymore of what life is dealing you. It seems like everyone in Provo is going through that right now. Not even kidding . I've heard this feeling from at LEAST 10 other people.

So after i'm sitting in Gregg's car bawling. He finally just hugs me and tells me everything will be all right. I've never been more grateful to him in my life. He knows me well enough to know exactly what to say. I know everything won't be all right , and He knows that I know that , but somehow when he says it I believe him . I'm glad he did say it , because it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. After that we came inside , built a quilt fort , his idea, because again he knows exactly what to do to make me feel better. And we laid under it and found the big and little dipper.

Then we hung out this morning. We watched the man in the mask , then picked up his check , got gas , went to Wendy's for lunch and had a blast. Got home and find out Jamie got the job so her hopeful came true , then found out I GOT AN INTERVIEW , so my hopeful came true and has been replaced with a new hopeful. Then I uploaded photos onto facebook. and now i'm writing to you. I'm stressed out , but at the same time i'm able to find peace among the crazy. I have Gregg and my parents to thank for that. Mostly Gregg though , because my parents aren't here to hug me and tell me everything will be okay. They probably wouldn't do that anyways, because they are brutally honest with me. Which I love. Most of the time. But they take care of me and make sure i'm okay.

So here's to hoping I get that job. So I can stay out here with the man I love. and that's it.