Monday, March 23, 2009

Because i'm not ready for the loneliness and nightmares to set in yet.

I should go to bed. I am absolutely certain that nightmares will be soon to come as soon as i shut my eyes. I also know that I will become even more lonely than I already am.

Tonight is one of those nights where i cant stand the pain as well as i usually do. I'm alone and there is nobody in the world who cares. it's hard to deal with life. i can feel the depression setting in. it's so tangible. it's like a blanket covering my entire body. my aura. and as bad as it sounds , i dont want it to go away just yet. because the pain lets me know i'm alive. breathing. and honestly. I just want to feel this way for a little bit. for a time i just want to feel sorry for myself. sorry that everything i've ever lived for is gone. slowly fading away.

I'm miserable.

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