My scary freak out ... isnt over.?

I was awake at 3 am i guess yesterday morning now. but anyways i was looking at pictures of me and Gustavo... when i had the SCARIEST realization... I couldnt remember what it felt like to hug him... or what it felt like to kiss him... and i'm dying inside now. how can i possibly be forgetting the one person in this life who i've fallen completely and madly in love with? I dont think i've stopped crying all day... I feel like i'm slowly forgetting everything that's important to me. i cant put into word s how much it hurts. it feels like a dream. it feels like he's just a dream,that i've never really met him , i just dreamed him and that i've woken up and i'm forgetting the best dream i've ever dreamed. I'm so afraid that one day i wont remember anything but the fact that i knew him. Thankfully he sends me pictures faithfully so i think it's going to be impossible to forget what he looks like , still , i'm so afraid of it. oh gosh .... what's happening to me? to my life? to me and gustavo.?